Plural families and Christmas

Holiday parties naturally carry feelings of renewal and hope. Christmas, for example, is the time to gather the family to share affection, harmony and dreams.

The feeling of love reigns among the different forms and formats of family. Gustavo and Robert are going to spend their first Christmas with their family. They are parents to twins Marc and Maya, who just turned ten months old. For them, spending the first Christmas with the family is an inexplicable feeling. “We had this dream of wearing matching pajamas and putting up the Christmas tree together, this year we achieved that. As much as the children are still very young and don’t understand the meaning of it all, we understand”, says Gustavo with a wide smile on his face.

For Robert, the moment is to do everything that the date asks. “We joke that we’re doing everything we can do about Christmas; we even made a secret friend with the babies ”, he celebrates.

For them, Christmas represents a time of welcome. “We’re putting on a huge party at a friend’s house, because ours doesn’t fit everyone. My whole family will come and Robert’s family too”, comments Gustavo.

For the couple, 2022 was a year of very positive changes and transformations, especially parenthood. “Besides a lot of love, all of this involves a lot of struggle. It’s the result of a decade of fighting to be who we are, for our relationship to be accepted and, of course, the biggest of those dreams which is our children. All of this we’ve experienced is a response to everyone who told us we weren’t going to make it”, they conclude.

the sense of love

Psychologist, psychoanalyst and psychotherapist Beatriz Breves says that love is a set of other sensations. “Love is perhaps one of the most coveted feelings for human beings. And this happens because when you think about it, the tendency is to associate it with union, support, solidarity, generosity, affection, friendship, forgiveness, tolerance, in short, these are experiences that drive the person to well-being ”, she explains.

2022 was a year of social transformations and a return to face-to-face meetings, previously restricted due to the Covid-19 pandemic. Many families are meeting again and this act reinforces the bond of plural unions formed by a lot of welcome and respect.

“We need to teach our children that expressing an opinion is not to offend. That we need to have respect as a basis. And this needs to be worked on at this time of year, whether it’s Christmas or New Year’s Eve dinner,” says adoption specialist Cinara Cordeiro.

Cinara explains that, as a mother of five children and teenagers, one of them being adopted, she feels the need to teach them that respect must prevail in all family formats. “My children asked me: who do you love more? And I started answering the same to all of them — you! Because you are unique,” ​​she highlights her.

“I really like using the word ‘restart’ in my quintet’s education, especially when the subject is adoption. The love I feel for my children is unique. Not because they are girls or boys, it’s because they are unique. For 2023, I want people to first learn what love is”, he concludes.

For Beatriz, who has cataloged more than 500 feelings over 35 years of research, at this end of year period people are more open to talking about their feelings and reflecting on their attitudes. “This is a time that tends to lead people to a personal reflection of themselves and how they are living their lives. In this way, connecting with what you are feeling and being able to talk about your feelings, without a doubt, tends to be of great personal help. Love, when accompanied by joy, sparkles hope; from affection, it exudes warmth; of security, inspires confidence; of freedom, radiates peace ”, she concludes.