Postpartum depression: those symptoms that are difficult to recognize

“With my first daughter, who is now 9, I suffered from postpartum depression. When she was born, something broke inside me. For the first month and a half I was always at home, with the blinds down, watching television. I left her in the wheelchair until I had to feed her. ‘

To tell his experience is Valentina Colmi40 years old, now mother of three daughters. To become the mother she is now, Valentina had to fight against a sneaky enemy that she hits, according to estimates, about 15% of women during the first year of a child’s life.

«The pregnancy had been very beautiful – recalls Valentina – but then I had a difficult birth and a complicated breastfeeding start. I suddenly realized I had to take care of a little girl in flesh and blood and no longer just an idea. This sent me into crisisit was as if there was a disconnect between the ideal mother and the real one that was not what I had imagined ».

What makes postpartum depression even more insidious is the sense of guilt tried by new mothers, one feeling of loneliness and estrangement which often prevents you from coming out and asking for help.

“Depressive symptoms interfere with the mother’s ability to take care of herself and the child, for this reason it can sometimes appear disinterested or” refusing “towards the child – explains Professor Giampaolo Perna, scientific director of Humanitas Psico Medical Care and head of the Center for Personalized Medicine on anxiety and panic disorders of Humanitas San Pio X – Actually often the woman experiences a profound sense of inadequacy to the maternal role with a consequent lacerating sense of guilt, to which however he is unable to react with his own strength alone. One of the biggest fears of the new mother is that of being judged and being seen as a “bad” mother: for this very reason post partum depression, sometimes, could manifest itself as one “Smiling depression”a condition of only apparent happiness, or one “Silent depression”with the tendency to hide their malaise ».

“Of that period I remember the anguish – Valentina continues – I felt unable to take care of my daughter, I was having bad thoughts, I was afraid of hurting her, I was also afraid of being alone with her because I thought I was unable to deal with it. I didn’t even want to hold her because even physically I felt a sense of discomfort. I felt guilty and most of all lonely, because I had never heard of mothers who had suffered from postpartum depression. During the pre-birth course, only a fleeting mention of this topic had been made and I thought I was the only one to experience certain emotions and difficulties ».

Three months after the birth of her daughter, Valentina continue to feel bad until it touches the bottom. «I remember waking up one morning – she says – it was a beautiful summer day outside but I was in the dark, deep in my loneliness. I realized that I couldn’t go on like this. I understood that I absolutely had to do something for me and for my daughter ».