Pregnancy: Because it sometimes comes (miraculously) when you least expect it

Pregnancy: the more you want it, the less it comes. Very often, looking at the experiences of those around us, one thinks that the more you “look for” a child, the more difficult it becomes to get pregnant. Yes, because often, surprisingly, the pregnancy comes right after a couple has thrown in the towel. Or perhaps in spite of some factors that, in theory, should have hindered it, if not even made it impossible.

This is the case of the singer Laura Pausini, who just a while ago, on Instagram, wanted to remember with a photo the joy she felt 8 years ago, close to the birth of her daughter. A truly unexpected joy because, as the singer herself told Vanity Fair, the premises were not the most favorable. “Honestly – today I can admit it – I no longer thought I could get pregnant without help: I ​​hadn’t used precautions for years, and nothing had happened. Among other things, I discovered that I had a problem, and I was convinced that I had to operate. I had planned to do it once the tour was completed, but Paola anticipated me. She decided when to arrive, she clung to the only possible point. A kind of miracle».

But then, deep down, won’t it be that a pregnancy can come just when you are not there looking for it too insistently? The fact that several couples find themselves waiting for a child after having slackened their attempts or, even, after having thrown in the towel, should be considered as a simple case or is there more? We talked about it with Prof. Antonio Lanzoni, surgeon Specialist in Gynecology and Obstetrics and director of the Complex Operating Unit of “Obstetrics and Obstetric Pathology “ of the Agostino Gemelli Polyclinic From Rome.

In your experience as a doctor, how many pregnancies have you seen hopes diminished, put on standby or completely collapsed?
“Several. I also happened to meet couples who had unsuccessfully attempted the path of Assisted Fertilization and then, surprisingly, they found themselves expecting a baby later and in a completely natural way. “

How to frame this phenomenon? Is this a sign that loosening up your search or throwing in the towel helps to shake off a certain amount of stress?
«Stress is a factor that characterizes everyone’s life (who is not stressed, every day, for at least one reason?), So we must be careful in writing the failure of a pregnancy to this factor. However, if, over time, the search for a child acquires the characteristics of one “obsessive” research, then it is possible that the stress experienced in this case may also have repercussions on fertility. A strong dose of stress it can in fact interfere in a concrete way with reproductive organs: in women it can compromise the activity of ovaries and in man it can interfere with that of the gods testicles.»

So, can the very first advice to promote pregnancy be to cultivate and protect your well-being?
“Absolutely yes. Putting your well-being in a drawer – as if it were not something fundamental – is always dangerous. If the stress of a pregnancy that doesn’t come adds up to other factors, it can really jeopardize the picture. But let us remember one thing: beyond those cases in which a specific physical problem, to be faced, not always behind theinfertility of a couple there is one and only reason. Most of the time couples fail to conceive because of more negative factors added together and mixed together (advanced age, unhealthy lifestyles, personal health problems, etc…). Keeping this in mind can help keep one overview and to act on several fronts. “

So, going to the concrete, on which fronts should we work to promote a pregnancy, without entering a tunnel of anxiety? Could you give us a few simple rules to follow?
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