Sanremo 2023: Duemilaminuti by Mara Sattei is about toxic love

Mara Satteiperformer with prestigious collaborations and millions of views on YouTube and Spotify, debuts at San Remo. A consecration for the young singer from Lazio, older sister of the music producer thasupenfant prodige of the Italian rap scene, on the music scene for many years now: exactly ten have passed since he took part in the evening Friends of Maria De Filippi and four since he started composing music with lo pseudonym by Mara Sattei (her real name in the registry office is in fact Sarah Mattei).

In recent years, many collaborations: from Carl Brave to Gazellesuntil Fedez and their recent summer hit, along with Tananaiby title The sweet life.

Now the time has come to fly alone, but in very good company: to the Sanremo festival it brings Two thousand minutesa piece written by Damian David, frontman of the Maneskinfor which he also composed the music, together with thasup and Henry Brun.

A far from carefree song, however, the one Mara sings: it speaks of a toxic lovein which the protagonist sacrifices herself to try to save your loved one, and in return he receives psychological manipulation and bruises. Eventually, he runs away and she is left with nothing, not even her voice. But perhaps it is from there that the protagonist can start again.

We tried to analyze together with Dr Matthew Merigopsychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and couple counselor, the situation described in the song, trying to derive some advice for anyone going through a similar one. Here’s what we learned.

I would call you even if he doesn’t pick up
I would look for you where you can’t see
Should I have nothing left
It doesn’t matter if it hurts
Barefoot in the snow
I’m not afraid to fall
I thought I could heal your heart of all the voices you hear
But the result doesn’t change even if you change the addends
I thought I could use my voice but inside me now there is no voice
And I used two thousand minutes to figure out what you think about me
I only found anger maybe we are too different
I realized it wasn’t love but just a game you created for me
And tell me if there was love between those words
And then give me two thousand minutes or rather two thousand hours
You who unwittingly taught me to breathe
Then you ran away and stole all my voice
All my voice
I remember when you came home tired
And you buried your problems in rivers of alcohol
And every time you told me it was my fault
You didn’t mind destroying our moments
Bruises all over my body were just the marks
May that evil that brings you will never go away
I thought I could look at things from a different point of view
But your reflection does not change
You never enter my universe
I thought I could use my voice but inside me now there is no voice
And I used two thousand minutes to understand that deep down you were different
Look for shadows in the dark
Or the air in the deep blue sea
I realized it wasn’t love but just a place you created for me
And tell me if there was love between those words
And then give me two thousand minutes or rather two thousand hours
You who unwittingly taught me to breathe
Then you ran away and stole all my voice
All my voice
But tell me if there was love between those words (between those words)
And then give me two thousand minutes or rather two thousand hours (or rather two thousand hours)
You who unwittingly taught me to breathe
Then you ran away and stole all my voice
All my voice

Reading the text at first glance, what kind of toxic relationship does the protagonist seem to have stumbled upon?
“At first glance, I notice a short-lived toxic relationship: two people who met, a great involvement, but then immediately a separation. I also sense a hint of love bombingthat is, a desire to enter into each other’s lives, a desire to “bombard” the other with words apparently full of promises, but which then were not followed up».

In the first few lines, the protagonist seems willing to do anything for love: is this typical of toxic relationships? Doing everything for love is not a priori wrong: when does it become healthy?
«Doing everything for love is not wrong, if within a constructive relationshipwhere there is reciprocity. In this type of situation, it almost seems that the protagonist has totally immersed herself in a very intense love affair, in which perhaps only she was involved, to the point of suffering a lot when it ended. Here comes the problem: sometimes people, men and women, go into relationships, giving themselves completely. This, if not mutual, leads to a huge one crushingone fell apartwhen the relationship ends”.

I thought I could heal your heart of all the voices you hear. «Cross nurse syndrome»: do we want to talk about it?
«The object of love, or rather the recipient, the way he behaves (the voices he hears and the addiction to alcohol), makes me think that he is trying to drown his demons and his problems with alcohol. In her clicks the «Red Cross Syndrome»: he sacrifices himself, gives everything, in a short time, to try to help and save him. In this case, however, and in many similar situations, when the end of the relationship comes, it is not always a relief: instead of feeling free, a sense of guilt is triggeredwith the reasoning “I could have saved you: where did I go wrong?”».

«You who unwittingly taught me to breathe, then ran away and stole all my voice»: in this dynamic, why does someone who receives (too much) love then run away, perhaps without explanation, leaving only desert and a sense of guilt?
“It happens because often people who fall in love so intensely, they are not so much in love with the subject as with the idea of ​​love they have towards that person. The recipient, not reciprocating, tries to escape, or for inadequacy or for non-payment or for carelessness. Those who stay feel robbed of their role, and therefore of their voice».

«Bruises on my body were only the signs, that the evil you bring will never go away. I thought I could look at things from a different point of view”: often what induces to stay is the conviction of being able to save the other, but it doesn’t work. Indeed, here we are also talking about physical violence…
«Who is inside this type of relationship, he never realizes the dynamics problems that are arising, precisely because he is “blinded” by the fact that he can think of saving the other from his demons. Let’s go back to the beginning: despite the initial passion, if there is no reciprocity, if you feel awkward, uncomfortable, in a relationship, it’s time to end it. Because then the bruises might not be just those to the soul or to the ego…”.

How to really help in these cases?
«Starting from the assumption that it is not up to the partner to “treat” the other for this type of problem; if we ever have to deal with people with addictions, who can also lead to violent behavior, it is the case of recommend a psychotherapist or even a path in a protected community. But no one is saved if he does not want to be saved.”

«I realized it wasn’t love but just a place you created for me»: what triggers the courage to close? What could make it say enough?
“The exceeding the limit: when certain limits – set by ourselves – are exceeded, the eyes are opened and the person understands that what he is experiencing is not love, but a useless sacrifice, a martyrdom. I repeat: love must be mutual».

What consequences can such a relationship leave?
“THE damages are many and they also vary in intensity, depending on the case: here in the song we also talk about physical bruises, but without necessarily escalating into violence, such toxic relationships can leave behind insomnia, anxiety, depression. It all depends on the suffering gradient of the love object and how strong the partner who wants to save him is to be able to live with the right and healthy detachment. Often those who wear the clothes of the Red Cross nurse, she is convinced that the other will change. But that almost never happens. So then we need to understand where the limit lies. And close the door behind you.”

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