If you observe your friends and family—and even yourself—you will notice that some people see the glass as half full, while others see it as half empty.
“Some people are just happier than others. They don’t have to work at it, right? They just are,” social psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky recently told CNN’s chief medical correspondent Sanjay Gupta in his Chasing Life podcast. “(They are) like people who are naturally thin and don’t have to try very hard to be thin.”
Lyubomirsky, a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, has studied happiness for more than 35 years. She has also written several books on the subject, including “The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want.”
As an abstract concept that is subjective, happiness is a difficult topic to study: the emotional state is difficult to define, let alone measure objectively.
“Happiness has two components,” Lyubomirsky says, noting that you need both aspects to be a “happy” person. “The experience of positive emotions — so people who are happy are more likely to experience joy, enthusiasm, calmness, curiosity, affection, pride quite frequently — that’s one component. The second component is having a sense that your life is good, that you’re satisfied with your life.”
Researchers measure these components by asking people questions such as “How often do you experience joy, calm, curiosity?” and “How satisfied are you with your life?” Some aspects of happiness can be quantified by examining brain structures It is facial features and even making a voice analysis. Rather than having a happiness set point, according to Lyubomirsky, individuals have an adjustable range.
A big question for researchers (and many of us) comes back to the glass-half-full-or-half-empty question: Is it possible to change your adjustable range to become a happier person? Lyubomirsky says it is possible to some extent.
“You can’t change your genetics,” she says. She also notes that trying to change your life circumstances — like finding a new job or starting a relationship — will only get you so far (assuming you’re not in a desperate situation).
“So what are we left with? We can change the way we think and the way we behave,” she adds. “We can change our habits. We can develop new habits.” She and other researchers have observed that happy people tend to have certain habits.
What habits can you adopt to increase your level of happiness? Lyubomirsky offers these five tips:
1. Get into the ‘flow’
Become absorbed in what you do.
“When you are so fully engaged in what you are doing that you don’t notice the passage of time, you are in a state called ‘flow,’ which is associated with joy,” Lyubomirsky says in an email. “Try to increase the number of flow experiences in your daily life in which you ‘lose yourself’—experiences that are challenging and absorbing.”
You don’t have to compete in a high-stakes game of tennis or climb Mount Everest, but try something as simple as completing a group project at the office, playing with your kids, or enjoying a hobby with your partner.
2. Practice random acts of kindness
Take a moment to do nice things for others throughout your day.
“Being kind to other people has a cascade of positive results. It makes you feel generous and capable, it makes you feel grateful for your own situation, and it gives you a greater sense of interconnectedness with the world,” says Lyubomirsky.
“It also brings joy to other people and leads them to like you more and reciprocate in your time of need, which in turn helps to nurture your own self-esteem. Thus, performing acts of kindness activates what positive psychologists call an ‘upward spiral.’”
These acts of kindness can be directed toward friends or strangers; they can be direct or anonymous, spontaneous or planned, she added.
Don’t know what to do? Lyubomirsky has a few suggestions: Pay the toll for the car behind you, paint a neighbor’s house, pick up trash in your neighborhood, teach an illiterate adult to read, rescue an animal, visit a nursing home, help a stranger carry a package, do a chore around the house (even when it’s not your turn), write a thank-you card to your mailman or garbage collector, or simply smile at someone who’s feeling down.
3. Cultivate your relationships
When it comes to your level of happiness, personal relationships have a bigger impact than money, a job title, or even your health.
“Spending more quality time with your partner, spouse, or children, or reconnecting with old friends, are surefire ways to increase your own and others’ levels of joy,” Lyubomirsky writes in an email. “This week, choose one relationship that needs strengthening and invest time and energy in healing, cultivating, affirming, and appreciating it.”
This small investment can have a big impact.
4. Express gratitude
Counting your blessings is a great way to take stock of the positive things in your life.
“One way to do this is by setting aside time during the week to consider the three to five things you are currently grateful for,” says Lyubomirsky. “This can be done through contemplation as you’re going to bed at night or during your commute, writing in a journal, or sharing your thoughts of gratitude with someone close to you.”
Another idea is to call or write a thank-you note to an important person in your life who you’ve never properly thanked. “Do this regularly, but not too often, as the exercise can lose its novelty and meaning,” she says.
Expressing gratitude will encourage you to appreciate your good fortune and help you get through the rest of the day or week, Lyubomirsky noted.
5. Celebrate good news
Sharing successes and achievements with others has been associated with increased joy and well-being.
“So when you or your spouse or cousin or best friend receives an honor, congratulate them and celebrate,” says Lyubomirsky. “Try to make the most of the occasion. Passing on and rejoicing in good news helps you appreciate and absorb the present moment, and it also fosters connections with others.”
She says this dynamic should extend to you, too: “Don’t be ashamed of pride — pat yourself on the back, tell yourself how hard you’ve worked for this moment, imagine how impressed people might be.”
And then pop that bottle of champagne or cider.
*CNN Audio’s Jennifer Lai contributed to this story.
Source: CNN Brasil
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