“Sexual well-being”: what does it mean and how can it be achieved?

Sex, sex everywhere. Everyone talks about it all the time. But then, if you go to investigate beneath the surface, it turns out that only a few live one happy and conscious sexuality. Two adjectives that together contribute to the concept of sexual well-being. What then, what will it ever mean?

Since 2010 the WAS, the World Association for Sexual Health, tries to answer this question through various initiatives, including the World Day of Sexual Wellbeing, which occurs every year on September 4th.

A day that aims to promote the sexual health, understood not only as good and fair practices for living the safe and secure sex, but also how more rights for all, of any sexual orientation you may be.

Each year the focus shifts to a hot topic: this year the focus is on sexual health in a digital world. In fact, we live in a world that makes no difference between digital and analog to connect in relationships, in the exchange of ideas and in the way of learning. The digital world has become a daily space where we spend many moments of our day, where we have universal connections that allow us to access and expand content and information to promote sexual health and sexual rights through the dissemination of appropriate messages.

“Information and communication technologies provide the ideal tool for promoting proper sexual health, especially in groups that are not reached with traditional media, such as i Young people – reads the press release issued by the Association – […] In terms of public health, the Internet has become a source of consultation. There is a large amount of online data traffic aimed at actively seeking health information and advice.
A priori it is possible to think that there is a high number of apps aimed at young people and sexuality, and this is true if we focus on applications for dating or playful-sexual approaches, but there is not a wide range of tools that address the promoting healthy sexual practices both among young people and among people of any other age group. Furthermore, it is very easy to access the information, but that doesn’t mean you always know how to discriminate between what is accurate and reliable from what is not.
But others problems arise when we discuss the use of digital technology and the Internet for sexual purposes, one of them being privacy, consent, informed consent, confidentiality. The internet and the use of apps open up possibilities, but they also raise questions and create threats, namely the possibility of sexual harassment and sexual cyberbullying in digital contexts.
The use of technology has required the reformulation and reconceptualization of what is sexual health and sexual rights in a digital world and we need to learn how to integrate technologies into people’s lives within an ethical framework of human rights.”.

In short, the topic is vast and controversial in some respects. So we chose to investigate the matter with the doctor Roberta Rossi, sexologist, who helped us to clarify some points, but above all to give a more general definition of what we call “sexual well-being”.

Let’s start from a general concept: what is meant by sexual health in digital, given that there is no physical contact?

«Speaking of technology, the concept of health derives as always from the use made of it. In the era of pandemics, the benefit of digital has been there for all to see: technology has helped us to keep relationships alive of all kinds, professional, human, loving, affective… The children were able to continue teaching; distant couples to “feel”, exploring the senses, through video calls or the sexting; singles looking for a soul mate by stepping up signing up for dating apps. Not only that, in broader terms of sexual health, technology has enabled healthcare professionals to continue to offer support to support groups that follow, for example, people on a transition path for gender change or girls who wish to have an abortion … In short, technology was one travel companion fundamental, which allowed us to be in the lives of others, partially compensating for our hunger for sociality ».

So, will the role of technology be increasingly predominant in our life?

«Nobody knows how it will go, what is certain is that scientists have not been able to ignore the role and effects of technology in these times of isolation and hardship. Many investors have already started projects to expand the proposals of the virtual sex: robots that will replace human beings, applications that will allow you to have “close” contact with each other, conveying their smell or tactile touch … That all this replaces physical contact with life, I can’t predict now. I doubt it, the human being is an animal and always seeks and will always seek the senses in sex ».

So far we have talked about the positive aspects of technology, but what negative ones can they be?

“As I said earlier, it is always theuse that is made of it the discriminant. If technology leads to exasperating gods compulsive behaviors it is no longer good. For example, watching porn videos is functional to the search for pleasure, play, excitement, but if you start using them as a filler of time, then viewing them out of boredom, a problem arises. Likewise, if the technology becomes exclusive, that is, if it leads to the interruption or preventive denial of any type of physical encounter, then we are not there. After the first online contact on social media or dating apps, it should follow – it is not mandatory, but it is necessary from a healthy point of view – the desire to have a live meeting. If you give it up out of laziness, lack of willpower, indifference or because “the online one is enough”, then there is a behavior that needs to be monitored. They can stay there fears – the atavistic one, from performance anxiety, or the newer one, from post Covid sex – but they must not paralyze us from then having the desire to know the other, to touch him, to smell him, to have him “.

Not to mention the drift of behaviors considered crimes …

“Unfortunately, the digital world is not free from crimes, which must be reported and prosecuted. Dick pic, dissemination of intimate photos without the consent of the victim, cyberbullying, stalking … We must be careful, stop thinking “it doesn’t happen to me anyway”. Even if the other person seems to us the most trustworthy in the world, we never know what use they can make of the material we send. Anything can happen, even that an innocent photo of us posted on Facebook ends up on disreputable sites… Prudence, always, especially online. Technology exposes us a lot, almost as if we were naked in the square, in fact ».

But returning to the main concept, that of sexual well-being, how could we define it in a nutshell, then?

«To define it is very simple: sexual well-being is the possibility and the will to implement healthy behaviors in the sexual field, or having awareness of their actions, knowing the consequences. This passes from the practice of a safe sex, with the use of contraceptives, but also from the respect the other, but above all their own desires. So, don’t be afraid to say no to certain requests, or if you don’t want to have sex, communicate it clearly, or if we have agreed to a certain request in bed, but the next day doesn’t want to, say it without hesitation. .

In conclusion, sex is real sharing – of fluids, of flesh, but also of sensations and feelings – and like everything, it works best if there is one direct and clear communication. Happy sex comes from feel good in that condition, in that situation: there is no right or wrong, but only what we like or want to do. Which gives us well-being. Never cancel yourself out just to meet the other’s expectations. The understanding must be first of all with what we have inside. From here, sex becomes fun, complicity, well-being. In a word, happy».