Simona Ventura, the interview: marriage, TV, children, adoption

Simona Ventura2011, cover of Vanity Fair: «I am the cobra. I stand still, I observe and at the right moment I bite». Thirteen years later, eight covers and infinite paths (and lives) in between, Simona Ventura smiles, pauses and answers decisively: «What a cobra, think how boring it is to be a cobra at sixty (he’ll be turning them next yeared.). I am an elephant. I forgive everything, but I don’t forget anything. I fall down hard, I get up again and if I start walking again, no one will stop me.”
Forty years of TV and hosting, dozens of programs and new projects, a divorce (from Stefano Bettarini), three children (Niccolò, 25, and Giacomo, 24, from her first husband, and Caterina, adopted, 18), a marriage just celebrated (with Giovanni Terzi), her professional and personal history is a rollercoaster of which she is very proud today: «How many lives have I lived? Who knows, I’ve never counted them», she says on a frenetic afternoon in Milan. «I’ve certainly never lost heart, I’ve always thrown my heart beyond the obstacle. I’ve never broken, I’ve always bent, but I’ve managed to recover also because with age I’ve learned to be calm. Haste is a bad counselor. And so is anger: I used to be full of it, then I let it out. Today not only am I able to be very calm, but I’m even optimistic».

And he continues to do TV. Every Sunday with Ring Rai 2, alongside Paola Perego.
«I still like television, Ring Rai Due I enjoy it, the results are visible and fill me with pride. I must admit that TV has given me so much. I have worked everywhere and with any political color, I really think I have it in my DNA. The truth is that I owe everything to my curiosity, it has permeated my life. I have always been curious about everything, to know anything, curiosity has led me to always look for new ways to communicate. Mine is a curiosity that is never tamed».

But did he try to tame it?
“Impossible. And at my age it’s also convenient: it keeps the brain always trained.”

If you wanted to take stock of your 40-year career, what makes you most proud?
“I am proud of my children, of what my boys and Giovanni’s boys are becoming. Because ours is a very extended family, where no one is left behind. I have three children, he has two, and having created this team where no one is left behind is truly my great pride. Work comes and goes, just like success. I had it, I lost it, it came back. We are a bit like stocks on the stock exchange, a bit bear, a bit bull, the important thing is to always be there, right?”

A few weeks ago at the Venice Film Festival, Tim Burton and Monica Bellucci said “love at sixty is a meeting of souls.” Do you agree?
«Yes, it’s very true. Even though Giovanni and I met six years ago and we weren’t exactly sixty (laughsed.). Monica is right, I’m happy to see her so happy.”

And what was it like for you to get remarried last summer?
«In the meantime I’m happy that Giovanni asked me (laughs agained.). A Dancing with the stars, in a very romantic way. When you fail in love once, you think it’s very difficult to recover. Marrying Giovanni is like putting many things back in order. Neither of us imagined meeting the other. When we met, I had just been single after a long relationship and I thought I would never be in a couple again. I said to myself: “It didn’t go well, never mind. Think about work, your children.” I was convinced that I wasn’t suited to relationships anymore, then life gave me a surprise. And suddenly, everything fell into place.”

Every day, do we choose each other again?
“Giovanni brings me coffee in bed, every morning. At a quarter to seven, accompanied by a note. He writes me so many romantic things. I realize that this is an exceptional love at our age, especially for me, but I am very happy to be able to experience such an intense and passionate feeling. He and I have had similar experiences in the past. We have felt the same pain, we have fallen, we recognized each other immediately.”

She has three grown-up children, what kind of mother is she?
“They say I’m a clingy mother, but my grandmother always said ‘little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems.’ I try to be very inclusive, very present. I’m a little apprehensive, but a lot has happened to us. The most important thing is that all three of them know that I’ll always be there for them.”

Caterina first fostered her, then adopted her. Was it a complicated journey?
“Nothing is difficult. Foster care allows you to give love to a child, to take care of them. The problem is that often many foster families do not want to have contact with their families of origin, and when the child returns home some emotional imbalances can arise. I have never had this problem because Caterina was already a relative of mine and if she had returned to her family of origin I would have continued to give her all the love possible. Adoption follows a different path. It is true that in Italy singles cannot adopt, but special adoption offers you many opportunities.”

Caterina is 18 years old. How old is she today?
“She has all the hang-ups of her age, but she’s a lot like me. She’s strong-willed, tough. She’d like to be a psychologist and travel as much as possible. I hope so for her.”

Are the boys okay?
“They go straight to the goal, they commit, they sacrifice, and that’s what I’ve always taught them. In life, to get something you have to sweat. You get slapped in the face a lot, but you learn from that. Niccolò is a personal trainer, Giacomo lives in Rome and started working with Pierluigi Diaco in BeautifulMà. He only told me at the end, after he was cast. He would also like to be an actor, he gave himself a year, we’ll see.”

On TV she was the first woman to do many things: to host Those who football And The Hyenasto go on air with a big belly…
“I really like being able to say that I have paved a path. Balancing work and motherhood was difficult, but I was lucky. When I worked a lot and my sons were small, I could count on many people who helped me and I will always be grateful for that. My parents were very present, I had nannies and other help at home, it’s a huge privilege. When Caterina arrived, however, I worked less, she spent more time with me.”

She once said: “If I had been born a man, I would be the general director of RAI.”
“Well, I said it a long time ago and I still think it. If I had been a man, I would have had more opportunities. This, however, happened twenty years ago, then women recovered many positions. Today the situation is different, the balance point is still missing but the results are good.”

She also said: “I will always fight against women who hate other women, those who perhaps act as champions of the female gender and then in life are something completely different.”
“I didn’t just say it, I also demonstrated it. Saying it is easy, demonstrating it is a different thing. Being a resolute woman myself, I have never been envious or jealous of others. I am happy to have given many opportunities to other colleagues, whether they are grateful or not is another matter. But this also applies to men. I don’t regret it, though. I have always put my strength at the service of those who deserved it and when there were women who were successful also thanks to my support, I was proud of them.”

Last April it aired at What’s the weather like? despite facial paralysis.
“No one or almost no one would have done it. I did it for myself and for all those girls who don’t leave the house if they don’t have filters on their faces. We have created unhappy people.”

“Always believe, never give up” is still your motto?
«It is current, timeless».

Does it require constant effort?
“Not too much. Looking back on my whole life, I have no regrets or remorse. This is because I have always been true. After all, the public notices when you lie, they read it on your face.”

What is your relationship with social media?
“Good. I like to use them to communicate. I don’t read the comments, I prefer to move on. I have to say, though, that everyone is always very nice to me.”

How come?
“For the same reason I said before: I have never hidden anything, not a paralysis, nor anything else. The public has always perceived my difficulties. I have learned from my mistakes, and I have transformed my pains, they can no longer hurt me.”

Do you ever think about the girl who won Miss Muretto in Alassio?
“I’m still that girl, I’ve never abandoned her. In recent days I’ve also brought out my old clothes, the most iconic ones. They’re on display at the Fabbrica del Vapore in Milan. There’s the red dress fromIsland of the Famous that Valentino sewed on me, there is the dress from the fight with Gasparri in Those who love football. They are part of me, and I am doubly lucky: they even left me those clothes, which would never happen today.”

Photo: Rai/Federico Guberti
Look: Luisa Spagnoli
Make Up: Giuseppe Dimagli