Six Signs You’re With the Right Person, Revealed by a Relationship Therapist

The concept of a “soulmate” is overrated and the obsessive search for one’s own can prove counterproductive, sometimes even dangerous. Romantics of the world, we are sorry to disappoint you but this seems to be the harsh truth, at least according to the couples psychologist Gregory Matoswho recommends getting rid of the myth of the “soul mate” and instead focusing on the understand really, in a more concrete and daily way, whether the person next to you is the right one or not.

A survey conducted by YouGov of approximately 15,000 U.S. adults in 2021 he discovered that 60% of them believed in the idea of ​​soulmates.

Instead, according to the very recent study The Green Flags made by the dating app Tinder on 8,000 straight singles of the United States, the United Kingdom, Australia and Canada, despite 53% of men and 68% of women surveyed desire a romantic relationshiprespectively 91% and 94% are convinced that it is hard to get it.

The vision, therefore, today seems to be more disenchanted than in the past and this would be a good thing according to Gregory Matos because although the idea of ​​a soulmate can represent a beacon of hope after a series of bad first dates or a marriage that ended in divorce, at the same time risks turning into too high a bar which scuppers relationships that have all the potential to become important and solid, but which are not immediately recognized as the true love.

Paradoxically, the opposite can also happen, that is, so convinced that they have found their soulmate that they are unable to identify the problems within their relationship and, in the most serious cases, to understand that they are living in abusive and toxic relationships.

Much better then to free ourselves from the myth of the other half of the apple and cultivate a healthy love with long-term prospects that are more in line with reality.

Easier said than done? Not for the couples psychologist, who has identified six unmistakable signs that indicate that the person next to you is the right one. Here they are.

1.You feel that you have a high degree of emotional connection with your partner.
2You have fun together and share similar activities or experiences.
3You desire each other sexually.
4.You are good together even in silence.
5You accept your partner as he or she is and you feel accepted in return.
6You and your partner feel chosen.

All these aspects would reveal the way we love each other. Each one is fundamental and intertwined with the others because if it is true, for example, that the emotional connection It is the basis of every relationship, even that one sexual and physical.

And if fun and out-of-the-box experiences help form lasting memories, an evening spent in silence snuggled up on the sofa adds precious bricks to the construction of intimacy which, if serene, contributes to making the person with whom one lives it, the right one, chosen every day and who chooses us in turn, in mutual respect of differences.

The Six Questions to Ask Each Other as a Couple

Decoding the signals that the person next to you is the right one for you is not always easy. If not everything seems to be in focus, a little game to play with your partner can be a valuable help. Just take some time and ask each other these questions.

• How would you describe your emotional connection with me?
• What fun things have we done together this year?
• How would you describe the quality of your sexual experience in the relationship?
• How do you feel when we share spaces?
• Why did you choose me among the 8.1 billion people on the planet?
• Are we able to give our best together with others?

The answers can be useful to start a reflection on the state of your relationship but it is good to remember that love is not a quiz but a journey to be done by twoand that soulmates aren’t always a good deal.\

SCIENTIFIC SOURCES AND EXPERTS CITED IN THIS ARTICLE

Article appeared on Psychology Today
Study conducted by YouGov “Do Americans believe in the idea of ​​soulmates?”
Study conducted by Tinder, “The Green Flags Study”
Dr. Gregory Matos, couples psychologist