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Some things you only learn when you go to live alone

Locked in your bedroom, you fantasize for years about the moment when, finally, you will leave your mom and dad’s house to throw yourself headlong into adult life, sure that it will be amazing, just like movies, books and TV series always have you. made believe. In the end, this fateful day really arrives and you realize that reality is much less sparkling than expected.

Here are some things you discover when you go to live alone (and that shatter your teenage fantasies into a thousand pieces).

Before going to live on your own you never thought about the matter, but now you have to deal with reality: when something runs out, you have to go and buy it back, since – absurd, I realize – it does not reproduce automatically as you have always believed. It applies to everything from coffee to laundry detergent, from pasta to toilet paper. In the latter case, the alternative may be to use the leaves of the potos that grows undisturbed in the kitchen, but common sense suggests that it is best to avoid.

I know I know, you would rather be subjected to excruciating torture than face a phone call, but now you are an * adult * and you have no way to escape. Does the boiler break? Unless you are willing to only take freezing showers from now on, you are forced to call the technician. Do you need to book a medical visit? You can no longer beg mom to do it for you. Is there an error on the gas bill? That’s right, the only solution is to contact customer service and put up with half an hour of nerve-wracking waiting jingle before being able to talk to someone who, in the end, won’t be able to help you.

Do you feel like you are spending your life washing dishes? Well, here, I don’t know how to tell you: it’s not just an impression. You have never noticed it before, but now you realize that, between breakfast, lunch, dinner and various snacks, there is not a single moment of the day when the sink is completely empty. Arm yourself with Vileda sponge, degreasing detergent and a lot of patience: becoming an adult is also this. You always thought that once you were free, independent, without schedules and rules, your life would be a succession of sophisticated dinners, alcohol-based parties and unbridled fun, crazy nights ended at the crack of dawn. Instead, you realize that the best nights are when you finish work at a decent time, eat something good, put on your pajamas, and watch a movie while sipping herbal tea and munching on cookies.

When your parents asked you to make the bed, your answer was always the same: what’s the point if I’m going to sleep again tonight? And now here you are, unable to leave the house without first pulling the sheets well, smoothing the duvet and lining up the pillows. And the same goes for all those things that made you snort and now, instead, you do almost mechanically, like putting back the clothes you tried on before a date and cleaning the bathroom sink of toothpaste stains. In short, living alone turns you into everything you couldn’t stand as a teenager.

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