Taylor Swift: Why do people love crying listening to breakup songs?

Fans were eagerly awaiting the emotional torment they were sure would come with “The Tortured Poets Department,” Taylor Swift’s 11th studio album.

And she delivered with a double album.

The first release since the end of Taylor's six-year relationship, “The Tortured Poets Department” captured the anger, sadness, longing and confusion that fans love in a good breakup song.

She sang about holding her breath after being left by her love, that her heart was broken when he pretended to put a ring on her wedding finger and that he was the waste of her life. This is the kind of pain that listeners may shy away from in life, but sometimes look for in his music.

Experts say it's normal and often helpful to connect with moving music, and Taylor even shared her own philosophy in an Instagram post about the album.

“This writer firmly believes that our tears become sacred in the form of ink on a page,” she said. “Once we tell our saddest story, we can let go of it.”

But why can something bad be so good?

If you've seen a performance of “All Too Well,” you know that Swifties are only too happy to scream along to the most moving parts.

Why is this so good? Catharsis and validation, said Arianna Galligher, director of the Gabbe Well-Being Office and the Stress, Trauma and Resilience (STAR) Program at Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.

It's beneficial to have an avenue to explore the most painful emotions and feel like it's okay because other people have experienced them and are experiencing them, she said.

Even if you're not in the middle of a breakup, tapping into emotions from past experiences can help, said Dr. Jaryd Hiser, a psychologist at Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.

“We all fall into the trap of avoiding these emotions,” he said. “To be able to go back to that, think of it as a processing of that time.”

This process can lead to greater acceptance of these experiences and that it's okay if you never feel completely okay with them, he added.

Music bringing peace

Music can be instrumental in getting people who might not otherwise feel safe visiting these difficult experiences and emotions to revisit them, Hiser said.

“I think of it as a really easy way to achieve mindfulness,” he said. “If we could be mindful all the time, that would be great, but most of us don’t get to take advantage of that.”

He likes to work on mindfulness with patients, combining it with activities they enjoy, because it's much easier to stay in the present when you're doing something you enjoy, he said.

“Those types of things that can draw us in and allow us to be with our emotions in that moment,” Hiser added.

Broken Heart is Taylor Swift's national anthem

Taylor's success when it comes to breakup songs may come from the nuances she maintains in her songwriting, Galligher said.

While there can be sadness and loss in her writing, there also tend to be themes of empowerment in her work, she added.

In a song on her new album, “Fresh Out the Slammer,” she writes about going from “daily disappearing to catch a glimpse of your smile” to saying that she has learned, that she is free, and that she will carry the lessons forward with her.

And she doesn't always follow the jilted ex trope with a vengeful breakup song, Galligher said.

“A lot of your songs really bring some balance to the conversation,” said the scientist. “And yes, (some songs) kind of highlight 'this is why I'm setting a limit,' but a lot of times there are also lyrics that say 'this is how I've grown and changed and what I've learned about myself, and maybe what I I would do it differently.”

“I think this kind of balanced exploration is a healthy model,” Galligher said.

Taylor also contextualized the album in her Instagram post saying that the expression of feelings in the songs does not mean that there is still a villain and a hero.

“There is nothing to avenge, there are no scores to settle after the wounds heal. And upon further reflection, a good number of them turned out to be self-inflicted,” she wrote.

How much is too much?

As comforting, empowering and connecting as breakup songs can be, there can be a lot of good, Galligher said.

“If we dive into it for too long, it starts to affect our ability to function, and that's certainly a reason to take a break and maybe visit other types of music,” she said.

Especially if you're having a hard time getting started, be sure to check in with your loved ones and yourself to see how you're coping, Hiser said. If you notice suicidal ideation, contact your therapist, he added.

“But actually, I think for most people, music is a channel for accessing our own emotions and sometimes processing them,” Galligher said. “Allowing space for those emotions to be present is so important, and music can really help us tap into that.”

Taylor Swift is the most searched songwriter in Google history

Source: CNN Brasil

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