The Facebook group that offers queer people a place with the family for the holidays

“Christmas is beautiful for those who have love or soul at peace”. I read it in an Instagram post the past few days, and I can’t help but agree. If you have a boulder on your heart, it is difficult to be able to enjoy the jovial atmosphere of this party, which becomes more and more divisive over the years: or hate it or you love it.

Additional expenses, parties to attend, phone calls from relatives who haven’t heard from each other for centuries, all with a smile on your face: it could be just too much. It becomes for example, for who has one family situation complicated behind. As for those who are part of the LGBTQ+ community: for many who study or work away from home, the option of “going home for the holidays” is not contemplated at all, partly due to the fact that they spend time under observation with anxiety and fear of facing ideological or acceptance issues that have never really been addressed, or because for many the prohibition to return home due to their sexual orientation.

The data reported by the 2022 survey of the Trevor Project on the mental health of LGBTQ+ young people (the sample examined is US nationality): almost two out of five LGBTQ+ young people they reported about living in a “discriminating” community or family, and fewer than one in three transgender and non-binary youth he found one safe and secure space in which to assert one’s orientation. Not only that, at some point in their lives, about 28% of LGBTQ+ youth reported having lived as homeless or in a condition of housing instability.

But this year there is a new possibility, and it comes from the online world, which however knows how to make a concrete presence offline. From this Christmas there is a particular Facebook group, which is used to find a new “family” for those who want to spend Christmas in a serene and welcoming environment. Created in January 2021 by the American Daniel Blevins, Stand In Pride International was originally conceived as a resource for LGBTQ+ people to find stunt doubles and officiants for your own weddings.

With almost 50 thousand members, the group has since evolved into something much bigger: today it is a system of virtual support always on for LGBTQ+ people around the world. Like all Facebook groups, it has rules that must be respected for those who want to be part of it and one of them is the mutual aid: in fact, the group has the objective of bringing together the demand and supply of practical support, but sometimes also psychological support, to those who request it. People who need support can find it close at hand, and those who are looking to offer it have a platform to extend the invitation. The connections are established in comments, private messages, FaceTimes, and sometimes even in real life.

Christmas is one of the occasions when the community lights up the most: Blevins, interviewed by Teen Voguesays that the number of requests for a place at the family table and that of offers appearing in the group during the holiday season are so many, requiring the creation of pinned posts at the top to serve as designated threads within the group. The motivation? Always the same: many of the people who join the group do it because they feel isolated, a feeling exacerbated during the holidays.

“It can be one of the hardest times for members of our community to go through because those family traditions with which they grew up and knew, have been stolen from them. This generates disorientation: what to do now? – comments Blevins – The intimacy of a meal with family is something I think many of us take for granted, and have someone to call or FaceTime can make a huge difference in someone’s life when they literally have nobody.”

Since it was created at the beginning of December, requests and proposals have flocked to the group, even the most disparate ones: from a “lasagnata” on Boxing Day to a Bowling match on Boxing Day’s Eve. “People are learning that they can create new traditions with their new family members – concludes Blevins – In the end, Christmas is being together no matter how. That’s the beauty of her.”

How to access the Stand In Pride International group

It’s very simple – just connect to Facebook, look for the group and apply for membership. Some will be posted requests at the entrance, to check if you are aligned with the spirit of the community (they ask if you are a member or an ally of the LGBTQ+ community, if you enter to offer support or to request it, if you are a pro-LGBTQ+ community activist…). Once these questions have been answered, one waits for one’s request to be examined and accepted… and then one can access the group, obviously after having read and introjected the regulationwhich must be slavishly respected, under penalty of expulsion from the group.

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