The importance of finding a person who gives calm and tranquility in a love relationship

Dr Will Cole is a very popular functional doctor in the United States, primarily because he is one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s most trusted medical advisorswhich often involved him in interviews and projects for his mega brand Goop. Among other things, Dr Will Cole is responsible for studying the impact of hormonal imbalances on our psycho-physical health.

Recently, the star doctor published a post on Instagram dedicated to the close correlation between difficult relationships and health problemsciting hormonal imbalances, chronic stress levels, difficult digestion and inflammatory conditions as a result of limping relationships. «We all have the right to a peaceful love with a person who is good for our mental health and our nervous system. Someone who represents a safe place, a best friend, someone who knows how to be close to you in the most stressful moments”, wrote Dr Will Cole on social media. Adding: «Land relationships are medicine… healthy ones, I mean. It is true that no relationship in the world is perfect and that they all require constant work, but some can be a source of chronic stress which, over time, can contribute to a nervous system in complete turmoil.

The search for a quiet love, word to the psychologist

Too often films and novels tend to make us believe that love with a capital L is just a roller coaster, all strong emotions, chills and butterflies in the stomach. Dr Will Cole’s position, which is also based on having evaluated the consequences of certain difficult love relationships on the health of the organism, goes against the grain.

In the clinical experience of psychologist Amedeo Bozino, things are more nuanced. «All of us are ambivalent: on the one hand we dream of calm and tranquility, on the other sparks and passion. As Dr Will Cole states, in love it is absolutely desirable to find someone who is healthy for our mental and nervous system, a secure base. Loving, however, involves many facets: the Greeks spoke of Eros, to define carnal love; Of philia, to define brotherly and disinterested love; Of agapeto describe spiritual love, which goes beyond oneself. In real life, love develops from desire and this can only arise from absence. How many times have we asked our partner “do you miss me?”, or have we heard ourselves ask? Perhaps a love that makes you feel good, but that doesn’t make you fall into monotony, is a love in which you can always maintain the right distance. I mean that a good partner should on the one hand be experienced as a safe haven, a home to return to, someone we trust blindly and who we know is there for us; on the other, someone who knows how to make us feel desire, who knows how to make us go further, who knows how to stimulate us. The risk, otherwise, is that a brotherly or even paternal love is created with the partner, therefore unbalanced to the detriment of eros. On the other side, a purely passionate and carnal love may lack the components of security and support necessary for the couple to pass the test of time. For Hermann Hesse, being loved is nothing, while loving is everything; I I think love is desire made wisecapable of providing protection and warmth, but also a certain liveliness, without ever taking itself completely for granted.”