Desire, excitement, pleasure. But more is often sought in the experience of sex than mere instant gratification. As psychosexologist Karen Gurney points out in her book Mind The Gap, what people want when they have sex with a partner most of the time is a “sense of intimacy”.
To achieve this goal, there is no sex position more intimate than the “lotus”: You are essentially wrapped around your partner’s body, almost like a snake would.
Not for nothing, the real name of this position is Yab Yum and it is rooted in Tantra, an ancient spiritual belief system that originated in India and has been around for thousands of years. In this belief system, anything can be part of your personal spiritual path, whether it’s eating, meditating, exercising and yes: making love.
HOW TO PERFORM THE LOTUS SEXUAL POSITION
To perform the lotus pose, the penetrating partner must sit cross-legged on a bed, chair or sofa, creating the so-called “half lotus”; a “full lotus” is obtained when another person joins. The person being penetrated sits on top, wrapping their legs around the partner. Instead of moving up and down, he will then swing his hips back and forth, like in a swing.
It is important to note that although this position traditionally includes penetration is not always necessary. It is also possible to feel pleasure by “rubbing” each other, a practice that also allows you to stimulate the clitoris.
THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL ADVANTAGES OF THE LOTUS
As already pointed out, the main attraction of the lotus position is intimacy. This does not mean that it is impossible to practice it during a sexual encounter with a new partner, however it is good to keep in mind that there is a lot of face-to-face interaction while in this position.
You can certainly decide to rest your chin on your partner’s shoulder to avoid staring at each other, but eye contact is one of the reasons the lotus is so popular.
Furthermore, from a physical point of view this position is optimal for clitoral stimulation, thanks to the back and forth rocking that can be practiced by the overlying partner. Men can get a lot of satisfaction from the lotus too, especially if they have trouble maintaining an erection or suffer from premature ejaculation. This position can provide a milder and more prolonged feeling, inviting to “bring out the experience”.
HOW TO ADAPT THE LOTUS POSITION TO YOUR NEEDS
However, the classic Yab Yum stance may not be the best choice for everyone. Those with poor hip flexibility, for example, may have some difficulty or may not be appealing to those who don’t like to move slowly during sex. In this case, there are some “adjustments” to ensure that the lotus can be practiced satisfactorily by all, according to needs.
VARIANT 1: THE STRAIGHT-LEG LOTUS
If the hips are tight, one or both partners can stretch their legs forward. If you are on a sofa or chair, the partner underneath may also choose to place their feet on the floor instead of crossing them around the partner.
VARIANT 2: THE LOTUS IN THE KNEE
In order not to weigh too much on the partner who is below, the one above can choose to kneel on the latter’s legs, rather than wrap their legs around his waist.
VARIANT 3: THE GYM LOTUS
Finally, if you are always looking for athletic sexual positions, you can modify the lotus by leaning back and supporting yourself with your arms. It is the ideal solution for those who do not like slowness during sex: in this way, in fact, the angle between the two pelvises is increased, a better way to stimulate the female G-spot and also get more leverage to make this position a little more active.
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