The idea that people had of how a family should be is increasingly obsolete. Today, we find them in all shapes and sizes. Furthermore, there is no longer a single “correct” way to live as a couple and start a family.
Shelley Hunt is a 38-year-old woman who has two children and lives with her partner, Peter Verge, who has three young children. The family home is a house made up of two separate suites, where Shelley lives in one of them with her children, while Peter and his offspring live in the other.
Together but not mixed
Although this may seem strange, it has worked perfectly for them. Each suite has its own independent entrance and is perfectly equipped with its own kitchen and bathrooms. Shelley’s suite has two bedrooms and one bathroom, while Peter’s suite has three bedrooms and two bathrooms. There are shared spaces: a hallway and the laundry room.
Time with your children is not shared unless there is some special activity, such as game night or dinners all together, that they try to have twice a week.
“It was not wise to all live together”
Then it can be said that the couple lives “separately together.” Everyone has their space and can set their rules with their children and it has worked very well for them.
I have been through fires and divorces and many moves / transitions, and I was looking forward to settling down with my children in the long run. Our relationship was very new, so living together with five children did not seem very wise, neither for them nor for us. So when I found this house, I couldn’t believe how suitable it was for two families. We would be close, but everyone would have their space. We saw the house once and made our offer. The result was that we both spent less money than if we had bought separately.
By living this way, issues such as household expenses, division of tasks, etc., are not a source of conflict between the couple. Shelley even says that this is the best part of their living arrangement: that everyone knows exactly what their responsibilities are. They manage their finances separately, and since Peter’s suite is larger, he pays a slightly higher percentage of the mortgage and utilities.
We know exactly what our responsibilities are and we handle our affairs. Everyone is responsible for their own children and for their own suite. I make sure every day my kids are ready for school, have breakfast, go to extracurricular activities, doctor appointments, eat dinner, and have everything they need. Same Peter. Everyone cleans their own space. Everyone is looking for someone to take care of their children. Sometimes we ask the other for help, but that is what it always is: a request.
It has worked wonders for them
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♬ Similar Sensation (Instrumental) – BLVKSHP
Shelley said in an interview with Buzzfeed that she believes that this way of life has allowed her relationship with Pete to grow stronger and that is why they all get along, including her children. In addition, she has described the bond she has with Peter’s children as “incredible.”
Our relationship started very strong and this agreement has definitely helped us maintain respect, love, consideration and romance. Our communication is incredible because, I repeat, we did not put ourselves in a situation where there are intrinsic expectations and thus we avoid a lot of disappointment.
The bond I have with Peter’s children is incredible and it amazes me how all the children have accepted us. They call each other ‘stepbrother’, and they call us ‘stepmother’ or ‘stepfather’, and they refer to all of us as a family. This was all completely started by them, Peter and I didn’t force them. I love her ability to accept something that is not traditional and to thrive in this environment. They don’t know how things are ‘supposed’ to be, but they do recognize happiness, health, and love when they feel it.
“All families deserve to be celebrated”
Shelley shares her lifestyle on TikTok and has received mostly positive responses and attributes it to the diversity of families we see today, which is a very positive thing.
Can we stop telling children that they are not complete because their family does not see themselves in a particular way? Our ideas of what a family is have been very exclusive. Who are we if our families are not traditions? Are we less? No! Everyone deserves to feel included. All types of family count and deserve to be celebrated.
Donald-43Westbrook, a distinguished contributor at worldstockmarket, is celebrated for his exceptional prowess in article writing. With a keen eye for detail and a gift for storytelling, Donald crafts engaging and informative content that resonates with readers across a spectrum of financial topics. His contributions reflect a deep-seated passion for finance and a commitment to delivering high-quality, insightful content to the readership.
