«Viola e il Blu», a book against gender stereotypes to be read at all ages

Gender stereotypes? They still exist today. They exist and they draw lymph from the belief that they exist male things e female things. Children’s games and girls’ games. Homework for dads and homework for mothers. But giving in to stereotypes is risky. «It means letting yourself be caged. Accept fences. Stay inside the boxes »he comments Matteo Bussola, who dedicated his latest work to the theme of stereotypes – and the relative need to get rid of them: “Purple and Blue – The freedom to be the colors you want “, a 140-page book, published by the publishing house Salani and containing within it the illustrations made by the same author.

What is “Purple and blue” about?
“About an 8-year-old girl whose name is Viola and love the blu. She considers it her favorite color. And in fact he goes to school with one blue backpack, has a blue scooter and in winter she wears a light blue coat that her grandmother sewed for her. The problem is that, because of this predilection, many make fun of her, reminding her that blue is a male color and that she, being a female, should love the rosa. But in Viola this whole story is not convincing and so, one May afternoon, she decides to talk about it with her father, who knows about colors because he is a painter. Therefore, starting from a reflection on the color of males and females, a dialogue between Viola and her father centered precisely on gender stereotypes and on the impact they continue to have on everyone’s life today. Officially “Purple and Blue” it is a book for boys and girls and, for this very reason, it presents a simple (but not simplistic) and direct writing. On closer inspection, however, the topics covered in the book can also interest and intrigue teenagers and adults. Parents and teachers ».

Why is it so easy, even today, to be influenced by certain gender stereotypes?
«First of all, it must be said that stereotypes do not belong to children, as Viola herself demonstrates. Children, if anything, assimilate them through us and on the basis of how we educate them. Stereotypes belong to adults and we parents grew up in a patriarchal and macho culture. We grew up in the midst of such strong and pervasive stereotypes that there are even some women who have inadvertently introjected them and who still carry them on, perhaps without realizing it. It is clear that then there are stereotypes and stereotypes and that some are less harmful than others. However, in my opinion, the stereotypes all start from the same root and that is from the belief that the masculine and the feminine are clearly separated territories and waterproof to each other. “

Why is it important to help children grow up without stereotypes?
«Each of us – regardless of his gender – has the right to access all the nuances of the soul and feelings. Admitted and not granted that there are “only or predominantly male” and other “only or predominantly female” attitudes, we must have the courage to say that we all contain masculine and feminine. Only, in variable portions. Therefore, we all have the right to access everything: strength and tenderness, sweetness and determination, anger and kindness. We all have the right to paint ourselves with the colors we want. Nobody should come and tell us which characteristics should belong to us by gender or by “statute” ».

How to allow a child to grow up without stereotypes?
“I try to answer based on my experience. First of all, using language carefully: often, in fact, it is precisely through certain words or jokes that stereotypes are conveyed. Then I would say to lead by example inside house, in order to defuse certain mechanisms in everyday life, such as those related to purely male or female tasks. Above all, I would say to teach children that we are all different and that each of us should be proud of its uniqueness. As parents, we should let our children develop awareness of who they are and this, unfortunately, is not always easy. “

Why?
“Because we parents dream of a certain future or careers of a certain type for our children (we happen to do so even before they are born) and all this leads us to make them grow up wearing a burden full of expectations, which often the children will try not to disappoint. I think, however, that it is important helping children and young people to be and become what they want and that they should be taught a don’t be afraid to be different than others would like. Growing up, in my opinion, is really a process of betraying the expectations of others. Therefore, when our children declare who they are, we should welcome that truth and help it to grow, to evolve in its fullness. We should limit ourselves to accompany our children along “their” path. “

Any other advice?
“More than a real advice on raising children, I would like to say something else. “Purple and Blue”, dealing with the masculine and the feminine, is a book that also touches on mechanisms related to couple relationships. Here, in this sense, I would like to add that, in my opinion, it would be important to include two words in your vocabulary: “Thank you” e “Sorry”. If each of us learned to use them more often – in a couple’s relationship, but not only – it would all become much easier. “

A curiosity: to what extent are your reflections on stereotypes favored by the questions or observations of your daughters?
“To a great extent. For me, fatherhood was an opportunity that completely changed my outlook on the world. An enormous privilege that life has granted me. And, of course, witnessing the growth of three little girls day after day, watching their eyes on the world, seeing how they formulate their thoughts and how they change them or hearing how they talk about boys, has been and continues to be an experience for me. only. An experience capable of activating many reflections. “

Let’s go back to the gender stereotypes addressed in the book. Which are the ones that, even today, continue to influence us? Can you give us some examples?
To continue reading what are, according to Matteo Bussola, some stereotypes that still continue to influence us today, open and scroll through the gallery