Virginio: “I’m gay but don’t call it coming out”

Music has always been his lifeline and doing an interview with him is not easy. Partly for confidentiality, partly because we always end up talking about songs. Virginio Simonelli, in art only Virginiaborn in 1985, has spent his life immersed in the seven notes, his very personal cross and delight: he made his debut in 2006 on the stage of the Ariston among the Youths with Reallyafter four years of silence is among the Friends by Maria De Filippi. She wins the talent and in parallel begins a career as an author for pop stars such as Elisa, Kylie Minogue, Raf and Laura Pausini, with whom she won a Latin Grammy for the album Hazte hear. The single is released on May 26th The day with the night in duet with Teo Bok. I feel it while she is preparing to be one of the surprises that Paola & Chiara gave to the public for the Roman date of their Forever tours. On that occasion she sang the piece written for them with the Iezzi sisters: Milleluci.

The day into the night, Milleluci… what have been the most significant lights and shadows up to here?
«Music has been the light of my life, it has saved me from the shadows, from extreme situations capable of changing me and making me grow. Now, however, I feel more aware and ready not to cling only to music, for a long time my only buoy in the middle of the open sea».

What do you mean when you talk about extreme situations?
«As a teenager my being different, physically skinny, with glasses, sensitive, was a cause for ridicule. There are those who let certain things slip and those who suffer from it. When you’re small and you can’t make a group with peers it’s hard. That phase marked me, in some moments I thought of complicated solutions… but I don’t want to go any further. I was lucky enough to have attentive parents: they saw what was happening outside and inside me, turning on a light».

Forgive me for insisting, but what are the complicated solutions you refer to?
«Put it this way, when I was little many things weren’t made explicit, there was no awareness. That’s why I go to schools, I talk about bullying and cyberbullying. This awareness makes me happy and, when I write songs, I try to make people feel less alone».

How come?
«Because I needed to be understood: understanding between human beings is an outstretched hand, even if it is invisible».

Loneliness makes her suffer, but she has chosen a profession where one is often alone in the midst of many people…
«I’m lucky to have always had people around me who are convinced of my talent, they didn’t make me feel too lonely. I’m fine alone, but we are social beings and the pandemic has underlined this to us ».

So?
“There is a need to exchange energies on a physical level.”

Let’s go back to his career. You were the first who, after participating in Sanremo, attempted the talent show card…
«It’s true, I was also the first songwriter to win a talent. I care a lot about the writing part, it makes me proud: it is essential to interpret my compositions».

I meant that, usually, first you participate in a talent show and then you go on stage at the Ariston.
«I have never seen my profession as a way to achieve fame, but rather success».

And what is success for you?
«The recognition of one’s talent. Fame can be achieved in many ways. The moment of darkness after Sanremo was the normal flow of a pop singer-songwriter with moments of more intense popularity and others in which the spotlights are turned off».

If he wasn’t looking for fame why participate in a talent show?
«I am a boy who lives in his time and, in this historical moment, taking part in such a format can make sense. And then Friends allows you to sing your own songs.

He never thought that at the time, after Sanremo, Friends was it a diminutio, a going back?
“I have always rejected this purism. It always depends on how something is done: when I sang songs that weren’t mine, they were still pieces that belonged to me. When you are aware of your talent all this talk goes down the toilet».

Understood. Does Maria De Filippi still feel it?
«Absolutely yes, we write to each other. I’ll send you the songs in preview».

And of the single with Teo Bok, The day into the nightwhat did he say to her?
“She hasn’t heard it yet, actually. We call each other as soon as we have the opportunity. She is updated on my steps.’

How did the collaboration with the young Latin promise Teo Bok come about?
«Julio Reyes Copello united us, a very important producer who introduced me to Laura (Pausini, ed). In his studio – the only one twinned with Abbey Road in London – he mentioned the name of Teo, an Italian-German boy. We met, hooked up, and I made this song.”

What was the inspiration?
“We are the same, but different. Diversity is completed, the day needs the night, the leitmotiv of a theme dear to me».

Let’s move on to the video. Two facets of love are told: Teo with a girl and she with a boy.
«Love is love. It seemed right to tell my side of love.

Excuse my frankness: are you telling me he’s gay?
«Yes, but let’s not talk about coming out, an outdated concept for me».

And what should we talk about, how should we treat it?
«You have to naturalize, make sure that everything is part of your daily life, experience things spontaneously. I’ve never hidden this aspect of my life, I’ve simply never talked about it out of confidentiality. I have always presented my partner as such to everyone».

When did you realize you were gay?
“Some things mature over time. I confess that I have had relationships with women that I have loved so much, always following the concept that love is love. But there certainly comes a time when the heart no longer listens to the brain and chooses”.

When did his heart stop following his brain?
«I think around 13/14 years old. I remember specific days when I saw everything dark, but it’s not a metaphor: I just saw dark things. From there began very hard days in which, before elaborating the awareness within me, I also thought about extreme gestures. When society doesn’t help you understand that there’s nothing wrong with being yourself, you feel left out, trapped, almost laughed at. Music saved me and my family was always vigilant. I don’t wish on anyone what I went through. But that’s not the case for everyone. This is why it is important to speak spontaneously about these topics: people must not feel wrong or alone. No one has the right to define something so intimate and personal in the lives of others.”

So this song holds her accountable.
«Today’s generation experiences the concept of gender and love in a wider and more open way, but surely there are boys and girls who need to see themselves represented in songs, to feel less alone. And for me this is the right song.

He’s very determined.
«I could have said that in the video I play a role, but it is my life. Maybe it’s difficult for some public figure to bring up a private topic. No one should question whether a person is gay, straight, non-binary, and so on. The day into the night has the right words to explain this aspect».

Why didn’t he feel the need to talk about his homosexuality before now?
“I consider it something private and reserved. It’s not part of my job, but we’re talking about this video. And I’m simply telling another side of myself through music, but my private remains as such».

So I can’t ask how many important stories you’ve had?
“I’ve had two. The first lasted 18 years and the second I’m experiencing now, but it started four years ago. Love helps a lot. Teach to understand you, to understand your limits, to learn from each other. But above all to never feel alone, to be strong. Having someone next to you who loves you strongly helps to “fix” you. Clearly everything starts from us, but there’s nothing wrong with sharing the weight».

The first thing you did when you felt “fixed”?
«I resumed playing football with the national singers team. When I was little I had stopped because I was bullied and excluded. They hurt me a lot and starting to play games again was a great therapy. I had to unlock something.”

You are now trying to conquer the South American market. Did Italy disappoint you from a recording point of view?
“No! In fact, with this song we also go out in Italy. In 2018, thanks to the Latin Grammy for the album Hazte hear, I began to frequent the Latin world. Let’s say that some chakras opened up and I found a connection with that side of the planet, I felt understood. There has never been a disappointment on my part, but South America, being bigger, allows me to reach a lot of people».

How do you deal with a type of discography different from ours?
«Laura (Pausini, ed) gives me many tips, I always compare with her. It’s a big lighthouse. Thanks to her we started this journey».

I come back to it: have you ever felt undervalued in Italy?
“Italy has a big flaw.”

Which?
«He falls in love with a trend and it seems that everyone has to ride it. This aspect pisses me off and I’ve always rejected it. The day with the night is a romantic ballad in an uptempo world. I kind of like to go against the current».

For this he was one of the very few songwriters to participate in Such and Which Show?
“Absolutely. I love challenges, they have always brought about positive changes. When they advised me not to take part in a certain project, for me it was the driving force to do so».

One piece of advice you regret not following?
«Some things Maria told me (De Filippi, ed) about a song, but I can’t go into specifics.”

Who let her down?
“I don’t want to be politically correct, but to name this person would be to give them importance. I don’t care».

On the other hand, to whom should you say thank you for having shed light in your moments of darkness?
«Maria certainly, not because the lights were off, but because she figured out how to turn on more. With Carlo Conti I felt understood. And then, of course, Laura Pausini, an important cornerstone of my life for some time now».

He often talks about Pausini…
«Because we have a personal relationship, when we work together for 80% we talk to each other and with the remaining 20% ​​we make music. After all, music is about telling oneself».

How would you define yourself today?
“A gentle rebel. In a historic moment in which whoever screams wins, I feel that I have made politeness my flag, but only if it is not mistaken for goodness».

What is written on the tattoo on his chest?
«”Tenet nosce” means “know yourself” in Latin».

And do you know him himself?
“You never stop exploring: this is a cave.”