What to do if they ask you to enter the delivery room and you don’t know anything about children: the advice of the midwife

What happens if you have not had children (whether you are a woman or man), don’t you know anything about parts and baby, if your partner/friend/relative asks you to enter the delivery room with her? So it happened to me with my dear friend Silvia, and after the emotion and happiness of being able to participate in the “moment of moments”, I said to myself “ok, but then in there what do I do? What if they are not helpful? But exactly, what is the accompany to? ». So I thought of asking for a midwifeand then I thought that what he said can, perhaps, serve others. So here, What you can do – or even not to do – if, in any guise, you are called to this role.

«The person who accompanies the partorient in the room is his”trusted person“”, explains Morena Terracciano, Responsible for the Polyclinic gynecological area of ​​Milan. «The partner is recommended, because this is also the moment when a new family is born, but there are people who do not feel it and may not be of help. Those who are close to the woman at this important moment must do a simple thing: to do what the parturient asks, but also reassure her And help her decide thingseven just a change of position, or whether to do or not make analgesia, or what procedures to choose (Obviously I place that the choices concerning the health of the child and mother take doctors, editor’s note). The person who accompanies the future mother is there to be supported at a time when it is possible to lose control and get confusedit is precisely a “trusted person” who puts the partorient in a situation of tranquility ».

Morena how does the birth works in simple words, for us who do not know anything about it?
«By summarizing, when the woman begins to have contractions and pain begins the labor, or the preparation for childbirth, a time when the neck of the uterus expands that it can last from a few hours up to 12 hours, depending on different variables, For example if it is the first birth it will take longer times. When the neck of the uterus is completely dilated and the child entered the childbirth channel, the woman feels the need for the premise, or to push. That’s the right – physiological – moment to push. At that point, three forces, that of the child in the childbirth channel, the contractions of the uterus and that of the woman, who, listening to the contractions, feels the pre -meter and pushes. A phase that can last from half an hour to three hours ».

Morena Terracciano, is responsible for the Polyclinic gynecological area of ​​Milan

And what do we companions do in all this?
«The woman between one push and the other feels nothing, has no pain, so it is a pause phase in which the nearby person can give her to drink, to eat something, it can give her a caress. Some women prepare the playlist for the different phases of childbirth, and the nearby person can be like his playlist, taking care of or consoling it or spurring it depending on the moments. The important thing is that it is an empathic presence, that understands the real need of the woman, who does not impose himself too much but is reliable and present ».

What happens when the child is born?
“As soon as the child is born, after a very short evaluation by the midwife, if the child is good he remains with the attacked cord and rests on his mother’s chest for the” leather skin “, a moment that helps to calm down both the Mom that the child is to unite them in this new life together. The umbilical cord remains attached right now, at least until it stops pulsing, because blood and substances still pass useful to the child. Then when the cord is cut, which is usually cut by the partner, we wait for the placenta to come out, the so -called “seconds”. The mother continues the “leather skin” while the child is evaluated to see how he adapts to extrauterine life, and then they both go to the room. With us the rooms are two beds and the companions can stay in the room from 8 to 20 ».

But is it a somewhat strong show for people impressable for people to attend childbirth?
“Of course, the vision of birth can be strong, for this reason we always ask the accompanying person if he wants to stay in the delivery room and as far as he wants to be, but above all we ask the woman as much as he wants him to be, because she must always feel comfortable. To those who are too impressed we suggest being behind the woman, or in some cases, the companion waits just outside the door, to enter as soon as the child was born ».

An important moment for those close to a puerpera is when he returns home. How do we help you these days?
“It is certainly important to never leave it alone, because the puerpere have a physiological hormonal drop that leads to mood changes, so it is essential that in the first days there is always someone next to be seen and referring to the healthcare abnormal behaviors attributable to depression Post of childbirth such as attachment or excessive detachment from the newborn. Then of course it can help practically, to eat, clean and support her: the woman who has just gave birth makes the life of the newborn, sleeps when the newborn sleeps, and eats when the newborn eats. It is important for you to be able to rest and know that you are protected and cared for, so those who help them mainly have this role, even if I want to remember that for every need or doubt there is always a consultancy to contact and a territorial network of midwives that offer home assistance ».