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What you should know when looking for a home

Leaving home is a moment that, sooner or later, comes for everyone, bringing with it joys and sorrows. If on the one hand it means abandoning the safety and warmth of the walls that have seen us grow up (as well as the certainty of always finding a full fridge and toilet paper in the bathroom), on the other it means conquering the long-awaited, coveted independence. You can eat what you want, when you want; you don’t have to fix your room if you don’t want to; you are free * to come home at dawn and sleep until two in the afternoon; no one scolds you if you don’t make your bed in the morning (what’s the point?) or if you leave the dishes in the sink after lunch (just be careful not to turn yourself into a shitty * roommate *). Sure, there’s no shortage of chores and hassles, but most of the time it’s not bad at all.

In this whole business of going to live alone, there is only one aspect that is a real nightmare, for which no one prepares you: looking for a home. If you are embarking on this amazing feat for the first time, here are some things you should know.

– Real estate ads are deceptive. If we talk about an “intimate environment”, the room is as big as a closet; the furniture is not “vintage”, but simply old, most likely recovered from the grandmother’s house; when the neighborhood is called “lively”, they are subtly informing you that, under your window, people stab each other at least a couple of times a week.

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– Convincing the homeowner that you are a reliable * renter * who pays on time and has no intention of demolishing the walls with a basebell sledgehammer is very easy. You just have to provide your latest paychecks or make sure that a member of your family is willing to act as guarantor; have a couple of references; pay a burdensome deposit; and finally, slaughter fifteen kids and sacrifice them to the god of the real estate market. Seen? Like drinking a glass of water.

– Looking for a house, you will soon realize that someone – I don’t know who, I don’t know when and, above all, I don’t know why – felt blind bathrooms were a good idea. On the other hand, what good is a window if you can replace it with a very noisy and useless fan that sucks (or at least should suck) the air?

– Living in rent will knock out your bank account. Unless you are enthusiastic about the idea of ​​living in a remote niche, you should put your soul in peace and accept that you will see a lot of money disappear every holy month. Say hello to him with your little hand and wipe away your tears.

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– Finding decent accommodation is largely a matter of luck. You can also spend hours sifting through the college bulletin board or losing diopters on real estate sites, but nothing works better than a good kick in the ass.

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