Raise your hand if you have put one of your sexual fantasies into reality! Because let’s face it: one thing is to free the erotic imaginary and fantasize about sex and its many nuances, another is to decide to make real what more often than not would do better to remain a sort of “private cinema”.
More and more people, however, speak openly about their erotic dreams: from threesomes to embraces consumed outdoors, to kinky experiences, to name the most common.
In the face of this, the British brand of erotic accessories sinful.co.uk wanted to carry out a survey on the most common sexual fantasies, asking Sexpert Kate Taylor to analyze the eight most common. Yes, sexual fantasies can reveal a lot about a person! Here, case by case, those that emerged from the survey and the interpretation that the expert gave them.
This is one of the most common sexual fantasies currently, in both men and women. “If the mind often wanders into scenarios where we are dominators or dominatrixes inside the bedroom, it would indicate that in the relationship you feel a little too taken for granted or that you don’t have full control over your life. Perhaps it is the partner who makes all the decisions, we have no say in the matter, and this fantasy allows you to create a world in which WE are in charge and we can give pleasure – or pain – as we wish ».
According to Journal of Sexual Medicine, nearly 65% of women fantasize about being dominated in bed. «Dreaming of being spanked or even taken” against one’s will “is often the sign that one feels overwhelmed with responsibilities in everyday life. It denotes a personality that has a lot of influence on other people, perhaps more than you want, and a BDSM fantasy is often the opportunity to let go of the reins. ‘
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The presence of multiple characters in one’s sexual fantasy could indicate the need to be seen and recognized by the world. American psychologist and sexologist Justin Lehmiller, who thoroughly studied sexual desires and then wrote the essay tell me what you wantalso argues that the desire to have sex with two people, in their fantasies, presupposes the search in real life for an adventure, which does not involve particular “commitment”.
If there are many people in the imagination, moreover, it can mean a desire for admiration. If you then specifically imagine that you are “giving pleasure”, you are likely to feel that you have not fully realized your potential.
“Imagining having sex with a nameless and faceless partner can be intriguing, because in this kind of fantasy there is no fear of being judged. If in real life you are always trying to please people or live up to other people’s expectations, this probably represents an escape into a world where you can let yourself go.
With a stranger we can show our innermost desires without worrying about what he might think of us. Furthermore, there is no commitment and this probably also indicates a desire for greater freedom ».
56% of men and 69% of women fantasize about having sex with their boss or other executive figure, according to Lehmiller. “If for the person in question there is no real attraction and despite this it is found in one’s own fantasies, this can have a precise meaning: you crave what your boss stands for. For example, one would like to gain more power. Or more respect ».
The voyeurism, or the desire to observe others having sex, is typical of those who become aroused by watching others without their knowledge. “This fantasy it can be dictated by a certain feeling of helplessness: you don’t feel important enough in real life and this conviction takes over even in fantasies, where you are just “observing” ».
Conversely, fantasies in which someone looks at our naked body or while we are in bed are usually related to the effect we have on others. “If we are intrigued by the thought of surprising someone with our sexual performance, it may be that this exhibitionism derives from the feeling of being a little “invisible” to the world “.
Fantasies filled with tender words and silky sheets are typical of big-hearted perfectionists who spend more time in their head than in bed. “He could also hide, however, a fear of showing one’s true personality “.
Other stories of Vanity Fair that may interest you are:
Whenever women orgasm in non-sexual situations
More intense orgasms? Train the PC muscle
How to use sex toys in the right way
Source: Vanity Fair
