When is it right to part?

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The best way to end a breakup is to make sure both partners are satisfied. The when to ask concerns the emotional sphere of people rather than the legal one.

“Separation is a right recognized to the married couple, which is also exercised independently of the will of one of the two spouses. The only condition is that events occur that make the continuation of coexistence intolerable “, says Marzia Coppola, divorce lawyer of the Bernardini De Pace firm.

“We understood that we can no longer believe in us as a couple, that we cannot grow further in this phase of life”, is a sentence from the declaration with which Bill and Melinda Gates announced their divorce, which will be one of the most expensive in history. . Over the course of life, people can change and, at the time of separation, they are no longer the ones they married. It also happens in a privileged marriage like theirs, which has been able to count on all the help necessary to make things go well, simplifying family dynamics where possible.

What are the legal reasons for separating?

“But the truth is that the law does not specify what these “facts” are. Therefore, the spouses are free to interpret what may have such a weight as to prevent the continuation of the relationship. Here, then, that the phrase “stop! I can not do this anymore”, Typical of the moment of the marital crisis, is filled with meaning on a case-by-case basis. From the first signs, often not included in an apparently banal quarrel, we arrive at indifference towards emotions, claustrophobic thoughts, the desire to escape and we begin to think that it would be better to end the relationship. This inability to tolerate marriage is determined by various reasons: incompatibility of character, inability to resist family and work rhythms, changes in the couple, feeling unwanted, the presence of a new love, the end of the agreement … These are all legitimate and valid reasons for to be able to proceed with the separation request “.

What if one of the two does not agree to proceed with the separation?

“I happen almost every day to hear phrases from my clients or counterparts such as” I do not allow separation. ” However, separation is the furthest away from the concept of “Concession”. This is because it is a right of every man and every woman. We all have the right to return celibate and single. There is no need for the consent of the other. Maybe it will not be a consensual separation and for the spouse requesting the separation it will be necessary to go to the judge so that he can pronounce the separation. But in the end it will be obtained ».

Separation: right or fault?

“The possibility of asking for separation is not limited to the hypothesis of guilt and instead provides for the right to separate regardless of the existence of a liability attributable to the other spouse. So no, it is not important to identify who ruined the marriage in order to ask for the separation. This is an element that is often misunderstood. Many, in fact, believe that separation is a sort of sanction to be inflicted if the spouse is guilty of adultery, abandonment, indifference or behavior considered an essential prerequisite of judicial separation and for which often an exasperated conflict is reached. . But the truth is that asking for separation is a right for all of us, regardless of faults and merits “.

What does divorce entail?

“After separation, you can always ask for a divorce and in any case. The only condition is that, first, the separation has occurred for a certain period of time which varies from 6 months to a year depending on the modality – consensual or judicial – with which it was defined. There are, then, the reasons expressly indicated by the law, these with punctuality, for which a divorce can be requested immediately without waiting for the necessary time for separation. For example, when one of the two has been convicted of particularly serious crimes, such as mistreatment in the family, sexual violence, murder or attempted murder of the offspring or spouse, or when the marriage has not been consummated “.

Lawyer Marzia Coppola – marzia.coppola@abdp.it

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