Anyone can make themselves available for foster care (singles, heterosexual and homosexual couples) but judges never call gays. Except in the case of little Marco, and his beloved “daddy and daddy”

Foster care is a form of “total” reception, as Angelina Mango would say, and for this reason it requires from those who approach it a capacity for generosity that only a few are capable of. I, for example, have not been capable of it: Knowing my deep desire to become a parent I knew that I could never offer temporary care without the aftermath of attachmentwhich is why my husband and I immediately chose adoption.

Foster care is in fact an institution (defined by law 184/83 and then perfected by law 149/2001) to offer children temporarily separated from their biological parents a temporary family, a stable emotional nucleus. alternative to staying in a community for minors. If applied correctly by Juvenile Courts, it provides for the return to the biological parent within 2 years, who in the meantime is helped by social services to recover the conditions to take care of the son or daughter responsibly. Sometimes, however, it is not applied correctly but we will talk about this on another occasion.

Single people can also apply for custody of a minor

Any adult in Italy can offer their Municipality their availability for this “total” reception: it doesn’t matter if they are single or in a couple, and it doesn’t even matter if they are in a homosexual or heterosexual couple, because at the center is the minor’s need to be in a positive and suitable nucleus for them. What matters is that the adult is adequately trained by the competent social services, the law says. “And yet, there are so many prejudices in our country that less than 10% of homosexual couples are chosen by the Courts for the custody of a minor» explains Karin Falconi, head of “AFFIDIamoci”, a project of the association M’aMa-Dalla Parte dei Bambini (known as Mammematte) born in 2015 to support single and homoparental foster care.

Homosexual couples are chosen very rarely

«Between 2020 and 2024, out of 190 minors placed in families by the M’aMa association, only 19 of these were matched with singles and homosexual couples. And those who were placed are all “special needs” minors, that is, with special needs due to disability, age (adolescents) or the need to be entrusted to one or more brothers/sisters. What happens is that when Judges contact us for the custody of a minor, we propose many super-trained couples or singles from our database, but homosexual couples are not even called for introductory interviews.. Only 3 or 4 Courts are more “enlightened” and summon couples regardless of sexual orientation. But in the end only in very few cases do they choose two mothers or two fathers».

“There is a real institutional prejudice on the parenting skills of gay couples, even when they are prepared, stable and very capable” continues Karin Falconi. “However, when Judges “trust and entrust” we witness beautiful stories. Like that of a 4-year-old child special needs from Central Italy whom I will call Marco (fictitious name), who a few months ago urgently had to leave the community where he was. I proposed to the judge a couple of two aspiring fathers who worked in the health sector. They were perfect, in my opinion. The judge usually summons at least 5 couples, but only they accept the case. They make a gradual and very sweet approach, the child is calm and in a few days a happy nucleus is naturally created. Well, after 6 months Marco is a “new” child: he has recovered his autonomy in speaking, in the ability to feed himself and to relate to others. In the meantime, the little boy has been declared adoptable, and soon, according to Article 44 (Adoption in special cases), he will forever have at his side those he has called “daddy and daddy” from the very first moment.“. And I ask you: in front of a story like this, what prejudice could resist?