Bella Thorne: “When I realized it had to be me”

23 Without labels or fear of showing up. Bella Thorne, actress, singer, writer of books who have talked about her personal challenges, the struggle to regain possession of her mental health, one day understood that she had to give up everything. Especially the desire, intrinsic to human nature, to please anyone, anywhere. The former Disney starlet, whom the public believed she had to correspond to the little girl they met on TV, chose herself, her own “uniqueness”. “They insulted me, mistreated me, but I was tired of homologating,” she says today, looking back.

Family trauma, the premature death of her father, dyslexia, which seemed destined to take away the dream of a career in the show. Then, the sexual abuse, the constant and severe judgment of those who wanted her to be identical to her character as Shake it up. The life of Bella Thorne, which she published on April 2nd Phantom, her second musical single, was not a bed of roses, what one would expect from the success of a child prodigy. It was complex, tiring, full of obstacles that most are spared. Yet, the artist managed to win them, one by one, reaching a degree of awareness that led her to embrace herself and her desires. Including that, unpublished, of a traditional family. Bella Thorne, related to Benjamin Mascolo, she decided to get married, with a double ceremony, in Italy and in the United States. “I’ve never been so happy,” she says, amidst music, soft drugs and promises to her deepest self.

Shake it it was an ode to strong women. With Phantom, what did you want to communicate?
«Phantom it’s a feminist anthem. He talks about how you can get out of a toxic relationship, disappear as soon as you realize how little it helps you. I like the idea of ​​making music that is fun, though Phantom it is, funny, I think it was born under the aegis of an important subject. I think that listening to the text of my song and watching the video can lead the audience to change their perspective on the man-woman dynamic within a relationship. And, with a little hope, may it lead him to see me as a different artist. It is the single that I am most excited to share ».

In January 2018, she disclosed that she was abused as a young girl. However, he did not want to reveal the name of his executioner. Why?
“I decided to talk about it publicly so that people who have suffered the same pain as me could understand that they are not alone, that they are not alone. I decided to do it to give a voice to those who have not yet found the strength to cry out their trauma. Many people are forced into silence. I chose, however, not to name my executioner, because that would have given him power. It deserves nothing, not even this resonance ».

The Weinstein case was followed by accusations, aimed at both the producer and its victims. As an abused person, do you believe that society is capable of encouraging victims to report?
“No, I strongly believe that our society should do more to encourage people to speak up. We are in 2021, yet many of the victims of abuse still bear the stigma of the liar ».

Framing Britney Spears demonstrated how obsessive and harmful the media can be. Social media, at times, do worse. How to use them correctly, positively?
«It is very difficult, but what I try to bring to mind, to overcome the judgment of people, the negative comments, is the awareness of the difficulties of others. I believe that anyone who tries to bring down, to hurt his neighbor is a deeply insecure being, with a life full of difficulties and frustrations. It is not easy to remember, but clinging to this thought helps me to regain my positivity ».

On Instagram, she is a positive role model for so many guys trying to embrace their truest identity. How did you come to care about the judgment of others?
«Trying to be true and naturally showing my“ imperfections ”gave me a confidence never felt before. Why on earth would I have to sit in front of a screen, look at an edited photo of me and tell me: “This is what you could have been?”. I learned to see myself for what I am: me, my natural beauty. I learned to be grateful, to embrace my every part. And this without forcing me to publish “raw” photos in form. I always tell my fans that imperfections make them unique, different. Being different is very important. Why homologate when you are born to stand out? ».

Growing up in the spotlight, however, it must not have been easy to find the courage to stand out.
“There were pros and cons. At first, it was fun: me, a child, cared for and protected by the big entertainment industry. It was more than I had dared to hope for, and it was nice to make a name for myself, to learn a work ethic from an early age. But not everything is what it seems ».

Explain.
«It seemed to me that I had lost the opportunity to be a child, to cultivate that imagination which, traditionally, is associated with a young age. I have never played tag with my friends during intermission. I’ve never chased the ice cream van down my neighborhood. At twelve, I worked over fifty hours a week ».

How did you manage to get rid of the Disney character label?
“One fine day, I had to send that image to that country. I had to say enough, to understand that too much is good. It didn’t represent who I was deep inside. I was playing a character, but the need to be myself, authentically myself, began to emerge. I had to start all over again, to build an image that was faithful to my true being ».

And the process wasn’t painless.
“I got tons of hateful comments for voicing my authenticity. Most of the audience wanted to be convinced that the thirteen-year-old me, an actress on the set of Shake it up, was the real me. Maybe, they forgot I was paid to be that person. They hated me when I told them the truth. ‘

Then, he revealed that he was pansexual. When did you understand that you love without limits?
“I was talking to my friends. Sexuality, labels, meanings. A friend explained to me what was meant by pansexual. I had never heard this word before talking to her about it. I had always believed I was bisexual, I had always identified myself with that. Then, when I heard her explain what it really meant to be pansexual, how one could love a human being for one’s interiority, an interiority capable of overcoming the idea of ​​gender, I realized that this is how I should identify myself, as a pansexual “.

How did her family, her friends, her future husband react when she told them she was pansexual?
“Regarding my sexuality, I have had very frank conversations with my future spouse, with my family, with my friends, with the whole world. I’ve always been very open, and I’ve never tried to hide anything. When I decided to come out, I decided to come out for myself. I knew, deep down, that the third party’s response wouldn’t matter. At the end of the day, I would continue to love myself. Yet, the response of my future spouse, my family, friends was surprising: they were all very supportive. We never argued. They simply accepted me. “

Since its inception, it has been dedicated to every sector of the show. How did you come to found Forbidden Flowers, a legal marijuana company?
“I’ve always been a cannabis enthusiast, which at first brought me closer to the industry. I created Forbidden Flowers to try to lift any stigma from the cannabis industry. So I decided to give it this name: forbidden flowers. Forbidden Flowers has several objectives: it wants to be sexy, cheeky, the personification of the free spirit of nature, of what I believe I am ».