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Gestation for others, homoparenthood, infertility. Why are they taboo topics for Italians?

April 1, 2023
4:30 AM

From television living rooms to Italian homes, from newspapers to political forums, the debate on parenting in rainbow families has become incandescent. But the terms of the discussion are rather confused: it almost seems that the point is gestation for others (which is practiced above all by heterosexual couples), when instead it is the recognition of children of same-parent couples born abroadand not only with this practice, but also with medically assisted procreation.

We talked about it with Tullia Penna (researcher in Philosophy of Law at the Department of Law of the University of Turin), who deals with bioethical issues and reproductive rights, and who is a guest of Mind The GapIntersectional Transfeminist Festival spread in Turin, which ends tomorrow.

Do Italians know what they are talking about?
«The public debate is heavily polluted, but people who undertake assisted fertilization courses become very aware very quickly. Perhaps precisely because the topic is rarely addressed outside medical circles, even if social networks have helped to partially break down the taboo in recent years”.

What are the major gaps in the public debate?
«The public debate, and especially the political one, does not take into account the complexity of these issues, how many types of assisted fertilization exist or how many types and ways of regulating the gpa (solidarity or commercial, with the gametes of the intended parents or with donor gametes) exist. Just as it does not take into account the fact that gpa is mostly practiced by heterosexual couples. Linguistic choices also weigh: “heterologous” fertilization (when a couple receives gametes from a donor and/or a donor) is an inappropriate way of defining the practice in question, given that “heterologous” means organ, tissue or organic substance from different species. The language conveys stereotypes and judgments and no other European country uses similar terminology. We always talk about assisted fertilization “with gift”, “from donor/ice”, etc. A similar discourse applies to the term “womb for rent”: it eliminates the woman who carries the pregnancy from the scene (only the uterus remains), assuming that she is always exploited, and completely ignores the solidarity gpas. It would be useful for these themes, with sexual and emotional education, to enter high schools to help young adults develop awareness of their fertility as well”.

What legal possibilities do same-sex couples who want to become parents have in Italy?
«If we talk about the possibility of using assisted fertilization for lesbian couples and gpa for gay couples, none. Law 40 of 2004 allows recourse to fertility treatments exclusively to adult couples of different sexes, married or cohabiting. In Italy then, the adoption of a child with a child for homosexual couples or stepchild adoption is not recognized at the legislative level and is not regulated by the Cirinnà Law, which however expressly provides that ”, allowing the courts to apply the rules on adoption in particular cases provided for by the Italian legislation».

And how does it work abroad?
«In France the 2021 reform, known as “PMA for all” (PMA for all) also allows access to assisted reproduction to couples of women and single women. Spain was the first country to allow the same practice, establishing that a woman must be able to access fertility treatments “without discrimination based on sexual orientation. There are currently 10 European countries where all women can access these treatments, including Portugal, Belgium, Holland, Denmark, Finland, Sweden, the United Kingdom and Austria). Some countries allow lesbian couples to carry out the reception of oocytes from the partner (ROPA), a practice which consists in the transfer to a woman of the embryos generated with the ova of her partner ».

And for male couples?
«For couples of men it is undoubtedly more complex, the gpa remaining a generally more complex practice, given that it involves a third person. The gpa in Europe is prohibited, among other countries, in France, Spain, Germany. Some, like Ireland, have no law on this. Greece is the only European country with a comprehensive gpa law, regulating the practice in all its aspects, but limiting it to heterosexual couples and single women only. In Portugal, for example, the gpa is legal, but in a very uncertain regulatory framework and open here only to heterosexual and lesbian couples. Commercial gpa is also legal in Russia, but not for gay couples unless one partner presents themselves as single. In the United Kingdom, gay couples can also resort to the gpa, but exclusively of the solidarity type. The panorama is really very varied in Europe, also with respect to the rights of parents of intending parents and pregnant women”.

Is the path more difficult for couples of women or for those of men?
«Certainly the use of assisted reproduction techniques is complex on a psychological level for all people, regardless of sex, gender and sexual orientation. The rhetoric of the “shortcut” or other terrifying formulas such as “test tube babies” or “medical tourism” prevails and often pushes those unfamiliar with these issues to formulate an instantaneous negative judgment. From the point of view of the law, both women’s couples and men’s couples encounter difficulties in Italy in having their parental rights recognised, which are not established in any law, but go through the courts. Living one’s family through legal instability is discriminatory.”

Why do Italians admit the use of medicine to treat pathologies, but not to deal with infertility?
“It’s a matter of taboo. Italian society is strongly linked to gender stereotypes: women who become women only through motherhood and men who have to demonstrate their masculinity. Infertility fits into this dichotomy, often making women feel “failed” and men less “manly”. Furthermore, there is a very strong social expectation towards couples and women in particular, so around the age of 30 one is bombarded with only one type of question around when, never if, she will have a child. We also add the fact that for decades infertility was considered a “women’s” issue, with a double result: the woman held solely responsible for the failure to conceive in the heterosexual couple and the emergence of a real “andrological ignorance” ( male fertility has been much less studied than female fertility). They are nonsensical stereotypes, but still widespread. Talking about the difficulty of conceiving a child mostly makes one feel judged and wrong, but something is changing, also thanks to dissemination and sharing contexts such as Mind The Gap Fest and social networks».

What scares Italians the most?
«Undoubtedly the breaking of social and cultural schemes considered “normal”. We are still opposing the rhetoric of artifice against naturalness, according to which children born to Pma are not natural children. Then the use of the gametes of a donor or a donor, the idea that they are not “real” children of the couple. In Italy we are still very attached to the idea that the genetic bond is the only one that makes a family “real”, prompting many couples to hide the fact that they have to resort to the gift of gametes».

Why all these obstacles to the formation of new families in a state marked by the problem of falling birth rates?
«It is a question that I have not stopped asking and have been asking myself for almost 10 years, especially in the face of the rhetoric associated with the importance of the family and motherhood. As if society said: “Dear women, to be such you must be mothers, but only in a natural way and in a heterosexual couple”. A bit absurd. Especially in a country where the material living and working conditions of women are certainly not the best in Europe”.

Why is the mentality on these issues generally more open and farsighted abroad?
“I think it’s a question of culture in the broadest sense. I spent 2 years in Paris during my PhD, discovering that male and female infertility, gamete donation, donor anonymity discourse are common themes. Themes that are usually addressed between friends, family and at work. There is a strong commitment to communication also with children born from the gift, to explain to them how they were conceived. In Italy it is another taboo subject, but there are virtuous examples. I am thinking, for example, of the register “Story of snow crystal… not of cabbages, nor of storks” (Valentina Edizioni), to explain fertilization with the gift of gametes to the little ones. It is usually believed that this more closed mentality is due to religious influence, but I don’t think it derives from the faith of individuals, but from our culture, even from non-practicing people”.