“Medea syndrome”, but not only. When mothers perform extreme gestures

The latest news leads us to consider stories and situations that no one would ever want to have to imagine or comment on. The case of little Elena, stabbed to death by her mother and buried in a field in the province of Catania, generates deep dismay and leads us to ask ourselves how it is possible not to catch in time, or even underestimate, certain signs of extreme discomfort that could portend gestures. of such brutality.

Elena Del Pozzo, her mother’s confession: “I went to pick her up in kindergarten, then I took her to the camp”

23-year-old Martina Patti killed her daughter by stabbing her in the neck and back. Her little body was placed in plastic bags

“It seems impossible, but there are not very rare cases in which mothers are accused of the murder of their children”, says the doctor Eleonora Iacobellipsychotherapist, president Eurodap, European Association for Panic Disorders and scientific director Bioequilibriumcommenting on the murder of little Elena.

“The reasons must be evaluated case by case and sought in the personal history of the womanbut wanting to venture into a generalization, part of the reasons for this gesture are to be found in the woman’s difficulty in accepting and managing the emotions and above all the frustrations deriving from her role as mother. A child inevitably involves a distortion of the emotional, work and social balance of the parents, but above all of the mother who also suffers a physiological and hormonal imbalance “, adds Iacobelli. “Fatigue, the feeling of not being suitable or up to par, exhaustion, the sense of inadequacy together with unjustified mood swings, may not be manifested openly, but grow underground to lead to real psychosis. When a mother gets to this point, anything can happen. The symptoms are traceable in a state of confusion, delirium and hallucinations ».

Doctor, is it possible to prevent this kind of heinous gestures, especially when they are the result of an evident psychic discomfort?
“Generally, when a mother kills her child, there is always something that precedes the moment of murder recognizable in his behavior, in his relationships with others, in his past. While stressing that each event is a case in itself, the motives can reasonably be grouped into: Medea syndrome (the mother who was able to sacrifice her children to take revenge on the father); unwanted pregnancies; intolerance to the frustration that a child inevitably generates; extreme attempt to protect him from a dangerous world. Whatever the reason it is evident the denial of a psychic discomfort that has manifested itself in the worst possible way and which, instead, deserves to be understood and above all treated well before all this happens», Explains Doctor Eleonora Iacobelli.

Are there unequivocal signs that a mother in crisis is sending out and that one should be able to grasp?
«Certainly among the“ danger ”signs we can recognize: depressed mood or mood swings, little tolerance to frustration, lack of empathy, sense of inadequacy, anger. In the case of mothers with young children, it should also be borne in mind that every woman, with pregnancy, already suffers a sudden hormonal imbalance, which has a strong impact on mood. However, if this situation persists beyond a limited time, close to childbirth, it could be a real post-partum depression “.

What is the mistake often made by those who stand next to a woman-mother with these difficulties?
«To underestimate the symptoms and the alarm bells. The recognition of a psychological discomfort is very demanding both for those who experience it and for those close to them. But the denial of this discomfort is never functional. It should also be kept in mind that in case of need it is advisable to contact a professional “.

How should one act in such a case, what can be done to prevent a critical situation from escalating dramatically?
«Family and social support is of fundamental importance. Friends and relatives play a very important role and it is their duty not to underestimate any alarm bells. If there was a need, they could also have the “bridge function” between the mother in difficulty and the professionals who can support and treat her ».

All of this is also part of a more general topic of mental health which has always been very little talked about in Italy. What is important in our country?
“What Italy lacks more than anything else is knowledge and prevention. Psychological distress is still seen, in most cases, as a taboo. This retrograde and distorted view must be fought because the difficulties, if not addressed, are perceived even greater than they really are. The figure of the professional must “come out of the shadows” and be normalized, not mystified. Turning to a psychologist / psychotherapist must become a normality, obviously where there is a need “.

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