Is the end of a love really “the end”?

“We were what we knew, what we had understood about each other, and we were all the mystery that each of us carries within. Above all, we were the one ». A love story like many othersthat of Fabio and Francesca, the story of a love and of its end. Why, does love end? Or ends that relationship that expresses one of the thousand faces of love? Talk about this Blue like strawberries, debut novel, published by Piemme, by Alessia Todeschinipedagogue, specializing in education and communication sciences.

It all started with a very banal question: “Where do you start to break up? ». A question that echoed in Alessia’s head, after her love was over. And that he “put it into his head” to Francesca, the protagonist of his novel, who keeps her inside himself until the day he decides to say it aloud and to face Fabio, her husband, and what remains of what they have been together. Just the two of them who met and fell in love, just by chance. A union blessed by heaven, one might say.

From the first kisses to living together it seemed like a blink of an eye, then a son, a bigger house, the work of Fabio who was chasing him, another son. How easy and disappointing it is to tell a life together, the days that are always the same that pass under our inattentive gaze. And how easy it is for everything to change. Francesca has never given weight to the small ripples of her relationship with the man she has chosen. Not only the quarrels, but the increasingly frequent misunderstandings and that feeling of not being understood have long seemed normal for two who have been together for a lifetime.

But one day he looks at his life and sees that nothing is left of that stainless bond, two nicknames that have emptied of meaning, habits repeated without a reason. And she realizes she is alone. How come she was before her, not even when she was four years old and moved to her grandmother Elsa after the death of her parents. And of being left behind, she and her dream of being a children’s illustrator, while everyone has moved on.

Finding the strength and courage to face failure it is not taken for granted for anyone, least of all for her. She has always been insecure, ready to lean on her family, before her, on Fabio, after her. Straight people, who know where they want to go, how to stand up. While she, where does she want to go?

A story that resonates with you? Nothing easier. Because Francesca’s descending parable is the story of all of us. That we have often persisted in wanting to keep up a relationship that has come to an end only so as not to have to admit to ourselves that that love was over there. That love there, not the whole love. Why can love ever end?

We asked the author Alessia Todeschini: a chat between women, which for sure will sound like something that has already happened with your friends. But often it’s the simpler comparisons that lead to the answers. Or to new questions.

The love story between Fabio and Francesca is a story like many others: what inspired it and how much of Alessia is in this story?

«A mentor of mine told me years ago that writing stories is like living a dream: one starts with oneself, one arrives in uncharted territories, but that our unconscious already knows. I wanted to tell in some way what other faces Fabio and Francesca’s love could take, but the biggest turning point was to tell how in the case of Francesca, she took the form of her. Because Francesca, from a finished love, it makes itself reborn. And a thousand other bonds that change and strengthen ».

Fabio and Francesca meet by chance, a love chosen by destiny. But then, thanks to life, love loses power and burns out. Do you have an answer as to why this could have happened? Or rather, where did it start to make it happen?

“The two were unsolved, incomplete, when they know each other, especially Francesca, who over time matures a sort of emotional dependence towards the partner. I think this is what leads a love to fade, to run out: looking for the missing pieces of our puzzle in the other, the expectation that the other is there to look for the pieces and reassemble us whole. I don’t have univocal answers about love, I don’t think anyone has them, but I believe that such a request in relationships makes you feel double fatigue, which no one should do in a healthy relationship “.

After the separation between the two, the character he chooses to develop is that of Francesca: due to the proximity of universes?

«Also, but above all because I too have lived the experience of separation, of the end of my marriage, and Francesca served me as a mirror, to bring out more things I had inside, after years. Francesca initially he experiences the end of his union as a failure: to look her in the face means a little to deal with it, to look inside oneself. I have come to thank this pain because it was transformative, it allowed me to evolve. And so it was also for Francesca. The moment she becomes aware of the detachment, she makes her first decision as an adult woman. The most painful, of course. But maybe it’s not just the end. It is a start. His“.

“Where do you start breaking up?” is the main question the book tries to answer: has it come to an answer?

“I think we’re starting to break up when the truth is no longer chosen, when even the smallest annoyances for the famous quiet life begin to be silenced. Like this the dialogue goes to dieand consequently the mutual respect. And then the forte fear of abandonmentwhich permeates everything and which however makes us attach even more morbidly to what we have, suffocating it ».

Blue like strawberries is the title: what does it have to do with relationships?

«To understand it better, perhaps it is appropriate to resume the passage in the book in which I quote it. The answer will come by itself.

“What color are the strawberries?” she asked point blank, as if he were questioning me. I realized there was a catch, but I decided to answer honestly anyway and told him what I actually saw. “They are of a somewhat indefinite color. Brown, purplish. Not quite red, but reddish, anyway, ”I squinted for better focus. “Wrong answer. There isn’t a single pixel of red in here. “
“Oh no?” I looked closer. “No, not even one.” I was silent, I did not understand where she was going. He too remained silent, waiting for my solicitation. I didn’t really want to say anything clever at the time. I just didn’t understand. “So they’re neither red nor brown,” I sketched. “No, strawberries are blue. You see them red, as most people see them, if not all. ” “I knew I had never shone for originality,” I said, almost apologizing.
“I mean the human being sees more with the mind than with the eyes. You know that strawberries are red and therefore you see them red even when they are blue. You do it, I do it, we all do it. We think we are living a story and instead maybe we are in another and reality gets out of hand. ” “Yeah,” I said alone. “But we are not to blame. You’re not to blame, Francesca. Also because a univocal reality, after all, does not exist. “
“Excuse me, I think I don’t quite understand what this has to do with my story with Fabio.” “You think you know someone, you see them well, however what you see of him is what your mind has decided. Is it clearer now? ” “Perhaps.” “.

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