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Paternity leave: “But why are only mothers interested in it?”

Almost 21,000 people are asking for the 3-month paternity leave, provided and applied throughout Europe, to be adopted also in Italy. Many are the signatories of the petition launched on Change.org by Girolamo Grammatico, life business coach specialized in parental coaching. “The Family Act is stopped in the House because there is a lack of funds”, is written in the text of the collection of signatures. “We parents want the necessary billion and a half billion to be allocated”, and again: “It is unfair that fathers cannot take care of their sons and daughters in the first fundamental months of life, but it is even more unfair that those months are borne by mothers “, wrote Grammatico, who is the father of two children, Gaia, 10, and Gioele, 7, and the author of several books, including Fathers and daughters: Training for gender equality e #Being today.

Grammarist, why this petition?
«A few days ago I was away for work and I met the curators of the independent digital activism project“ Dear, You’re Male! ”. We talked about the fact that Giuditta Pini, a deputy, is taking care of paternity leave. It is at least singular that it is a woman who is engaged in the exercise of a male right. I did a quick search and found no angry dad. I kept thinking about it for three days, then I thought that the Net could be a good tool ».

And what did he do?
“I launched a petition and reported it to my contacts. Almost 20,000 signatures were collected in the first week: word of mouth was very effective. Again, it was women who took part in the largest number. It is proof that the feminist movement is right: dads do not realize that they are privileged and the burden on women is disproportionate. It is peacefully accepted that it is the mother who has to take care of the children. “

His children have grown up. But who followed them in their first months of life?
«When Gaia was born, I had 3 days off and I took a few hours off, plus I had a few days to make up for. I spent a couple of weeks at home, because I had an enlightened employer, but it was a big effort for everyone. I took advantage of all the leave that the law offered me, even if the salary was partial. But I had a strong motivation: to spend as much time as possible with my daughter. To see her grow, I gave up a permanent contract. And my new self-employment allowed me, then, to follow Gioele too ».

He made a difficult choice.
“To be a present dad I had to make a choice. One evening I went home and saw that Gaia had begun to crawl. I said to myself: “I lost his first crawl, but I won’t lose anything else”. I have reinvented my life, and my work is organized according to my children. I chose paternity, it was not accidental. And my choices are naturally conditioned by it ».

And why is he fighting today for a right he will not enjoy?
“As a matter of assuming responsibility. There is currently no equality, but if fathers start staying at home with the children, mothers may choose to go back to work earlier. And then, who knows: maybe my children will also benefit from this right in the future. And I’ll be happy about it ».

Other stories of Vanity Fair that may interest you:

– Father’s children generation

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