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Shakira x mother-in-law: learn how not to let this relationship get in the way of romance

“You made me have my mother-in-law as a neighbor with the press at the door and owing the Federal Revenue”.

In the lyrics of the song “Shakira || Bzrp Music Sessions 53”, collaboration with producer and musician Bizarrap released on January 12, the Colombian singer had already commented on her relationship with her ex-husband’s mother, Gerard Piqué.

According to information from the Spanish website Marca, recently Shakira would have started building a wall between her mansion and the house of Monserrat Bernabeu, her ex-mother-in-law. The source says that the land is connected in some areas and the singer’s intention is to separate the properties.

In recent days, a video was also published on social networks showing the balcony of the singer’s house and there was a witch facing towards Piqué’s mother’s mansion.

“IF YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW WAS GOOD, YOU DIDN’T HAVE ONE”

The thought that mothers-in-law are difficult to deal with is common sense. It is the subject of jokes, is part of the repertoire of comedians and has even yielded films such as “A Sogra”, in which Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez clash in the “dispute” for the attention of the son / fiancé.

The film has the same name as a song by Zeca Pagodinho, in which he sings “I love my mother-in-law but I want to see her from far away smiling and happy. It is for these and other reasons that I do not allow her to live with us”.

According to Maycon Rodrigo da Silveira Torres, doctor in Psychology from the Fluminense Federal University, there is some truth in this because of the expectations that mothers project on their children.

He recalls that, from the 20th century, people gained more autonomy to choose their love partners, therefore the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law or son-in-law is a consequent imposition of the decision

that the individual did when marrying or dating. The choice may not please parents, who never find their child’s partner good enough.

“Sometimes it’s something of the order of the impossible,” he says. “A lot more is expected than the person can or has to offer. Anything the person does is insufficient. The most common report is that the other never does it right. For the mother-in-law, there are always flaws that need to be fixed. For the wife or husband, the mother-in-law is nosy,” she says.

AND THE FATHER-IN-LAW IN THIS STORY?

The mother-in-law is always the most remembered when talking about the relationship with the “bae’s” parents. But, according to Torres, it can be said that there is also a difficulty with the father-in-law.

He recalls that there is the problem of gender role in society: “What is expected of men, what is expected of women, and what is the tolerance that people have in society in relation to this difference in role”.

RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THREE PEOPLE

According to the psychologist, there is a tendency to think that the conflict is between two people, but he remembers that there are three. “The person who makes the connection between the other two people needs to be included in this equation”, he recalls.

Torres says that the three parties are responsible for the quality of the relationship. “We live in a culture where normally the center, the pivot of the relationship, tends to shirk responsibility”, he explains.

He recalls that this does not mean blaming: looking for culprits should be avoided in order to improve it.

HOW TO IMPROVE THE RELATIONSHIP

Maycon Rodrigo Torres tips are:

  • Be careful with the tone of voice; irony and sarcasm can lead to confusion, especially if the person is already “armed” in relation to what the other person says;
  • Bear in mind that parents have a much longer relationship with their child, it is necessary to recognize that your relationship with them will be a construction that requires patience and will be done gradually;
  • Try to get closer by finding commonalities, tastes that you share with your in-laws. This can create a sense of closeness.



Source: CNN Brasil

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